Hadrian to Julia Balbilla

Were it not for you, dear lady,
the scion of the kings of old,
then my wife would be impossible
and I, too, would be much diminished.

If your ancestor was renowned
as a poisoner for Nero,
then you shall be known forever
as a provider of antidotes.

The words you have written today
about what happened yesterday
and what occurred this morning…
may they, like you, live forever.

And the words you will write tomorrow
about what happened several weeks ago…
may they get their own colossus
to adorn the base they are written on,

for when has it been that a statue
gives life to words around a base
rather than the words giving voice
to the statue standing above them?

Never, because words have not been
as sweetly sung as these,
nor as deeply needed, and deeply needing
to be made bronze or stone

to keep their weight upon the earth
for as long as stone and bronze endure–
the lifespan of cities,
the months of mountainsides.

Sabina and I owe you our lives,
and Antinous his blessed afterlife–
though it was earned in other ways
your words are ambrosial,

the honey of Hermes and the drippings
from a thousand sacrifices to the Muses–
and you will be paid tribute forever
for having written them.

May you be preserved in memory
forever, like Memnon of old,
and as I may be, if the gods favor,
and as has been the case already for Antinous.

*****

Hail to Julia Balbilla Sancta!
Hail to Diva Sabina Augusta!
Hail to Memnon!
Hail to Hadrian!
Hail to Antinous!

Felix Dies Natalis Antinoi Dei Donantis Gratiarum!

The sounds of starlight were exquisite on the day
that in Bithynia’s Black Sea-lapped shores
was born Antinous, whose youth would light the way
through dark death and deification’s doors.

Antinous! Rejoice and sing out his fair name
in song and prayer and on your feasting lips,
whose renown among males would far eclipse the fame
of her whose face had launched a thousand ships…

Sing glory to the flower plucked by Hadrian
from gardens fair in Bithynia’s land,
the son of Antinoë’s town Arcadian
sown from serpent and Hermes’ skillful hand!

With bread and bath, with wine and horse and fair flower
may Antinous be praised all this day,
and through the night, each honey and wine-soaked hour
may we be filled with blessings bright and gay!

*****

So, just a little poem you can say (or sing!) to Antinous today on his birthday, whether you are celebrating alone or with friends and co-religionists, whether you have to say it secretly between dinner with your non-Antinoan families, or you can say it loud and proud with whomever you have gathered to celebrate with…Raise your glasses to him and pour a libation for our Bithynian Boy, the Deus Amabilis of our dreams!

And, I am happy to report to you that this post is now my 2000th post on this blog! (Though the counter on WordPress is being a bit weird…?!?) In the four-plus years that I’ve been writing this blog, I suspect I’ve crested a million words by now, and I hope to be continuing onwards to a million more in the years to come!

Felix Dies Natalis Antinoi vobis, and a very Happy Bithynia Day to you all, too! (And whatever else you might celebrate today and tomorrow…is there something? I don’t really know about these things…)

Pan to Antinous: I give you my sedum, which has power over every animal of the fields and the forests as shepherd and as hunter, and of the frights which rage through the hills at night.

Antinous: Hail and thanks to you, Pan, god of the wilds of Arcadia!

Because of you, I will be the son of Hermes born in Mantineia.

I will be in the minds of those whose thoughts stray in the lazy noon hour.
I will flit between the shadows of tall trees in the heat of summer.
I will quicken the pulse and the fleeing feet when the night is quiet.
I will explode in a wave of flowers across the fields in spring.
I will be the spree in the hooves of rutting goats.
I will be the surety of ships at sea and of rafts on rivers.
I will lurk in the leaves along the banks of nymph-haunted streams.
I will fly with the wolves that speedily stalk their prey.
I will be the sound of pipes across the valleys.
I will chase the clouds away from the face of the moon.
I will be a festival of hands in self-pleasuring.

Hail and thanks to you, Pan!

Hail and thanks to you, Antinous!

I’ve already posted the following to the Ekklesía Antínoou Yahoo!Group list, as well as our Mystai Antínoou list, so if you’ve already read it (and responded!) in either of those places, you don’t need to do so here…

I would love to know who is going to be at PantheaCon; and, if you’re not going to be there, you don’t need to send a message expressing your regrets, etc., as the main concern at present is a head-count and figuring out who might be able to do what, etc.

There are three official events of the Ekklesía Antínoou at PantheaCon this year, of which only two are on the main schedule.

Friday night, Feb. 13th, from c. 8:45 PM until c. 11:00 PM is the Roving Hero/ine Cultus Ritual, which will be spread out in four roughly half-hour chunks in four different hospitality suites, in collaboration with other groups. More on that in a moment.

Saturday night, Feb. 14th, at 9 PM, is a presentation/discussion/workshop called Teenage Gods and Heroes. This is a teenagers- (and youth-) aimed event, but having as many EA folks present as possible would also be good.

Sunday afternoon, Feb. 15th, at 3:30 PM, is Lupercalia/Parentalia. As this is our major public ritual at PantheaCon, having as many folks from EA there as possible would be really excellent.

Meanwhile, what do we need for PantheaCon? In the Hero/ine Cultus ritual, we’ll have four sections, with a preface before the first section in which we honor Hadrian, Sabina, and Antinous in songs/hymns. Each portion of the ritual will honor a hero or heroine, will pray for a particular group of people, and will also honor a particular deity in connection with that aim or that hero. The first part of the ritual will be honoring Antinoë, the foundress of Mantineia, and also Hermes, and we’re doing that in coordination with Come As You Are Coven, and it will be in the Hexenfest hospitality suite (run by Sharon Knight). Next, we will be honoring Memnon son of Eos and Tithonos, as well as the Meroitic (i.e. Nubian) goddess Amesemi, and that will be in the Pagans of Color suite. Next, we honor Boudicca and Andraste, and that will be with the Sisterhood of Avalon. Finally, we honor Cú Chulainn and the Morrígan, and that will be with the Coru Cathubodua. The prayers, respectively, are for: women founders/innovators/pioneers/trailblazers; People of Color (especially young men brutalized and murdered by police) in the U.S.; survivors/victims of rape and sexual assault; and veterans. What we’ll need for this is at least three people to carry the banners for the Ekklesía Antínoou of Hadrian, Sabina, and Antinous throughout the procession and rituals, and also people to give offerings at the different stations. We’ll also need–if any of you locals to the Bay Area can help in this regard–something to carry the banners on/with, like PVC tubes (lightweight, without splinter possibilities if they are handled correctly!), duct tape, and to be able to get together and assemble these around 6 to 6:30 PM so they’ll be ready for 8:45 (as I will be invoking Cú Chulainn at the Coru Cathubodua’s temple consecration ceremony at 7), and perhaps we can have a mostly Mystai dinner around 4:30 or 5 as well.

For Teenage Gods and Heroes, we need some offering bowls and plates. If someone can get a bottle of Powers Irish Whiskey, we can use it for offerings all three days, at the Hero/ine Cultus procession Friday night, this event on Saturday, and at Lupercalia as well. Someone at the door handing out packets would be good, too. We’ll also need people to read prayers at different points–the Prayer Against Persecution specifically. Other things might also be necessary…I am still working up the plan for this.

For Lupercalia, we need offering bowls and plates, plus wine and milk. I’ll need everyone who is going to help to be ready and with me at 3:00 ready to go into the room (I will be leaving the previous event a few minutes early, which will be just upstairs from our location). We’ll need to put some people on the door to purify those coming in, and ideally this would involve four people: one to purify with sound, one to purify with a thyrsus (and to make one!), one to purify with salt, and one to purify with water. Then, one further person to hand out programs would also be good. I’ll need three people (preferably Mystai) to do the prayers for Wepwawet, Hekate, and Ianus; I’ll also need someone to do the Prayer Against Persecution; and depending on if we can get enough people to commit to it, I think co-doing the Invocation of the Obelisk should also be done, i.e. four people plus myself each take a side, and I do the capstone.

For both Saturday and Sunday, If we can also have everyone ready to set things up and take them down, that would also be fantastic and would make my life a lot easier–there are bits of the altar/shrine that only I can set up (the sacred images and coins), but other things like banners can be taped up and so forth in the fashion required on each occasion, and then taken down later as well, offering bowls/plates having their offerings disposed of correctly and cleaned, etc.

EVERYONE who has Devotio Antinoo should bring their own copy and have it ready/marked for the bits you’re assigned, in any case.

Also, if there is a great desire to do Inundation on Sunday morning at 7 AM, we will do it then; if not, we won’t do it at any point, because I’m staying in the Motel Styx, and it’s going to be a bit of a bugger to get over in the mornings for things anyway for me, much less get over early, do that, and then re-assemble myself for a 9 AM session (I have one on Saturday and Sunday mornings that I have to attend for various reasons).

Does that all make sense? Any questions or other concerns? Let me know, and we’ll coordinate as much as possible here in the meantime!

Thank you all for stepping up for this!

Just as President Obama gave his State of the Onion address last week–and mentioned lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered people for the first time in any such speech–it has been my custom for the last two years, I’d like to give a (virtual) speech right now, but not on the “State of Paganism” at present–for no one is qualified to give such a speech, and I’m certainly not remotely apt for such a responsibility–but instead for a “State of This Particular Pagan” address, and specifically attempt to discuss where I see myself within the pagan community at present, if indeed I do at all.

Given that my earlier post today was rather pessimistic, I suspect you might be able to guess the tenor of the remarks to follow, which are more in-line with the 2014 occasion of such a statement than they were the 2013 version (each linked to above).

The last year has seen some very important developments in the world of modern polytheism: the Polytheist Leadership Conference (which was a great success, but sadly will not be continued in the future), the emergence of Walking the Worlds as a polytheist-specific journal, and the launching of Polytheist.com all stand out as great moments in the differentiation of our movement from the mainstream of modern paganism, and I think this is all to the good–not because we should distance ourselves from mainstream paganism, or that it isn’t good enough for us, or that there are elements within it which are opposed to our most basic beliefs and practices and tenets (though there are!), but because the overall project of differentiation and creating of distinctions and promoting of diversity is all a positive trend, and one that a healthy society and subculture (religious or otherwise) should applaud and promote rather than deride and disallow. In these forward movements, including in the holding of Many Gods West (which will begin registration on February 1st!) later this year and any number of other projects, I am extremely optimistic and excited and am full of enthusiasm, which I do not anticipate will be abating anytime soon.

As for myself as a “pagan,” I have a variety of mixed feelings. Some of them I’ve been sitting with especially heavily over the last few weeks, though I have not had the chance to speak about them with anyone (here in-person or at a distance), and though I’ve expressed various misgivings to a number of different individuals, my deepest feelings have been kept for myself and the gods only. I don’t plan on saying more about this at the moment, other than that I pretty much have a five-year clock running at this point. In early 2020, when the rest of the U.S. is gearing up for a general election (including the Presidential election–and hopefully we’ll see a second term of Hilary at that point–!?!), in the Ekklesía Antínoou will be holding an election of its own. By March 21st of 2020, I expect that the new Magistratus/a/um of the Ekklesía Antínoou will have been fairly and freely elected, and it will not be me. I do not plan on leaving the group, but most of my public ministry and role will be finished, and I’ll be free then to act in a strictly elder-advisor role, and will have that much more time to write and practice on my own, and further develop certain things (if they are not completed by then).

I will likely also begin the dismantling of this blog (so to speak) starting later that month, and will bring it to a formal close on July 31st of 2020, so that it will have had an exactly ten-year run. As much as I enjoy writing this blog, and as important as it has become in my own practices and in terms of communicating with the wider pagan, polytheist, and Antinoan worlds, it does take a good bit of time (almost) every day to keep it up, whether it involves writing a brief notice of one of my publications else-internet in five minutes, a short poem in twenty minutes, or a longer reflective piece in eight hours. However long it is each day, those are minutes I could be praying, making other things, or doing writing that I expect will be of much more import and survivability (despite my tendency to sandbox a lot here in the blog with both poetry and prose). It will remain up and available as a resource for everyone (including myself!), but further posts on it will not be occurring, and I will no longer respond to comments after about a month. I might find some other, less-time-intensive-and-expensive internet forum, and will likely keep whatever columns I might have on other websites as well, but that will be the time to bring this particular endeavor to its logical end.

My regular attendance at events like PantheaCon might end even before those events in 2020, but if it has not ended before then, it very likely will soon after that, too. I plan to attend Ekklesía Antínoou-specific events at that point (and if we have national or regional conferences/retreats specifically for our group by then, all the better!); I will also attend regional and national polytheist conferences; I may attend other larger events on occasion (hopefully more as a participant/attendee than a presenter, in many cases); and I will be happy to entertain invitations to other events if I am asked to be a guest speaker, keynoter, and other such things with the greatest gratitude and humility demonstrated on my part for being so honored to be asked. Given that my next three weeks and two paychecks (even despite the great generosity that many of you have shown me over the past few weeks, for which I am eternally grateful) will be devoted to PantheaCon expenses, preparation, and so forth, and I’ll hardly have a free moment between now and then outside of my general other activities (including blogging!), it has become clear to me that I’ve moved into the position of diminishing returns for events like PantheaCon. I am happy that I have asked various members of the Ekklesía Antínoou to assist me in various roles and responsibilities this year, and they (mostly “the usual suspects”–but I love them for it!) have kindly stepped up and forward to do so, and I hope that tendency increases on the part of the wider membership, and some of the new members who emerge in the coming years. I expect that when I give PantheaCon up, there will be others holding rituals there on behalf of the Ekklesía Antínoou, and I look forward to blessing and commending their efforts when it comes time to do so, even if I am not present myself.

What, then, do I consider myself at this point? It’s very obvious to me where my priorities and future interests lie, and they are along the lines of the following:

1) I am an Antinoan. I do not expect this to change in the next five years, and it will likely still be a large part of what I do for the times which follow after that (at least until 2030, if I live that long, and likely until 2038, if I live that long). Those who know the events of 110-138 CE will know why these numbers are given as they have been.

2) I am a polytheist. I almost feel, though, as if this should be “1.2” or something, because I don’t feel I can really be a proper Antinoan if I am not a polytheist. Antinous does not come alone, he comes with a very large group of “related divine figures,” including well-known (and lesser-known) gods, goddesses, heroes and heroines, deified Emperors and deified abstractions, Sancta/e/i, new deities, and so much else…and the more I get to know him, the more I also get to know an ever-expanding group of his friends and allies and theological relations. I feel superlatively blessed that this is the case, and I do not think it will be ceasing anytime soon, either. I expect to have times of difficulty (I’ve had them before, including recently), and I expect to have times of utter and ecstatic hyper-engagement as well, and the only ones who know which will be which in a given time period are the gods and other divine beings themselves at this stage, and I trust their judgement on the matter better than my own ability to dictate (as if I could!) which it will be at any point.

3) I am pagan. Note, I do not capitalize that term, because I use it as an adjective rather than as a noun and as a cornerstone of my identity at this point. I do think it’s important to me, and I think it is also fitting for me to use it, based on the historically-attested and slightly-shifting meanings of it at various points in the past. I am still rural, and my rural-ness cannot be taken out of me, no matter how technological I get (not very, if and when I can help it) or no matter how long I live in or near a larger city. I am still a civilian, and cannot join the military under any circumstances at present, due to health reasons first and foremost, but also because it is still not possible for people of my gender to be in the military. I am neither a monotheist nor a practitioner of an Abrahamic religion (and I regard what interactions I have with Iao Sabaoth and other Jewish and para-Jewish traditions to be para-Abrahamic at best, at least under the most common understandings of that term), thus I’m pagan on that point, too. And, as a corollary to the latter, and in conjunction with #2 above, I am a worshipper of the ancient gods. There are few adjectives that line up both synchronically and diachronically in describing me as accurately as “pagan” has for the last 23 years, and while I do not expect that to change, it seems that there are some who are demanding that it change.

No matter how much a number of modern pagans want to sideline the “ancient gods-worshippers” interpretation of the word “pagan” because they themselves don’t worship nor believe in gods, it’s an attested meaning, and a meaningful meaning to many of us. No matter how much they may protest that we cannot define the term and that linguistic usages evolve and adapt and move on, the moment any of you tell me I can’t define a term the way I want to because you don’t want me to (which, ironically, is what they’re accusing us of doing!), and protest that I’m defining it in a way that excludes you when my definitional exclusion doesn’t mean diddly-squat as far as your ability to do whatever-the-fuck you want and define yourself however you like, you can take a walk away from me and I’d advise not turning back to look at me ever again afterwards, or you may not enjoy what you see.

It seems pretty simple when it is phrased in those terms, and it really is.

I do not care one granule of care-salt what anyone believes or thinks, nor do I care any further such granules what a person does when they are not around me physically, or what they say and do in their own internet spaces (with some caveats to that to be mentioned below). If someone is here at the Aedicula Antinoi, however, they will be held to certain standards of respectful conduct; I intend to maintain hospitality, but if you are abusing it (or others), I will very freely and happily make sure you never get to speak here again. The same goes for Ekklesía Antínoou rituals and the like: feel free to come, and if you are respectful in your conduct, I don’t care what you say or do elsewhere (unless you’re a known and unapologetic bigot in some fashion or other–especially misogynists, racists, homophobes, transphobes, gender essentialists/binarists, or ableists). You can debate whether or not what we do is useful or interesting in your own spaces to your hearts’ contents. But if you disrespect my deities in ritual or virtual space I’m responsible for, you’re out–simple as that.

I will leave you with a conceit based on something that is actually going on in my extended family right now, and will attempt to draw a moral parallel with it to close.

My mother’s husband (I have a father, and a stepfather; the latter died eleven years ago, so that means that whoever else my mother might marry, no matter how good or bad he might be, he’s not my “stepfather” in the way the other one was) has been somewhat bored since he went into semi-retirement a few years ago. He does have a part-time job, mainly for the health benefits they give my mother, and also for the little bit of extra money. But, because he doesn’t have a lot of hobbies, and never really did (some that he used to do he does not any longer for various reasons), he has often been at his wits’ end in terms of figuring out what to do with himself on his days off or when he has free time. He often spends hours at morning coffee with a bunch of older local guys who are retired, talking about the state of the world and such. One of his better friends, who he ultimately met through connections my mom had (a friend of a friend of a friend of my stepfather’s), happens to be very active at his local church, and volunteers a great deal there, leads bible studies, is in the chorus, and in any number of other ways uses his ample spare time in retirement (and his ample money as well) to support their efforts in all sorts of ways, as does his wife. One of the things he does is serve food and wash dishes at their weekly “soup kitchen” on Thursday in the late afternoon and evening. One time, he asked my mother’s husband to come with him and help out. He and his wife have also tried to get my mom and her husband to come to their church for various services or concerts and other such events; they have on a few occasions, and usually do one or two things a year with them, even though my mother’s husband is pretty non-interested in religion and my mom is actually somewhat against their particular brand of faith (she much prefers Shinto!). As time has gone on, my mother’s husband has been going more and more to the soup kitchen one night a week to help out with washing the dishes and such. (I won’t get into some of his comments on the people they serve and so forth, but anyway…!?!)

With some regularity, other people associated with the church who are actively involved in the soup kitchen extend him frequent invitations to get involved in other ways, all leading to him becoming an active and contributing congregant to their church. My mother’s husband has not taken them up on this, and I don’t suspect he ever will. He just isn’t interested in being a part of the church, of going to services every Sunday (and often otherwise during the week), and of professing that particular brand of faith. Sure, they’ll keep trying to get him to “commit” more if they can, but he’ll just keep politely refusing, because he just isn’t interested.

[If you’ve read this, you might be able to guess where I’m going next with this…]

If the people at that church ever properly cop on, they’ll realize that there’s no use trying to convert my mother’s husband: he likes volunteering for something that he has no major responsibilities for, that he can take-or-leave on a weekly basis, and that doesn’t require him to do anything outside of what free time he is able to donate, and that certainly doesn’t require him to think or believe anything other than “I’d like to assist in this small way when and where I can.” He’ll never be their particular brand of Christian, which is perfectly fine.

What, under any circumstances, they will NEVER do at that church is ask my mother’s husband, the once-a-week kitchen helper, to lead a service, to give a guest sermon, or to weigh in on any theological opinion important for their church, or to organize any specifically-religious activities for them.

To attempt stating it simply: you don’t let the kitchen helpers write and give the sermons; you don’t let the non-Catholic guy who sweeps the floor perform Catholic Mass. And so on and so forth…you get the idea.

I don’t think I need to explain what I am getting at any further with this, do I?

May all of your deities bless and protect you and your efforts in the coming days; I will pray that mine do the same for you.

(And especially to all of you in the Northeast: may Hestia and Vesta keep you warm, Hermes and Mercury keep you entertained, and may Boreas’ blast not be too forceful upon you!)

I am absolutely miserable today–I ended up getting sick last night; I thought I was perhaps just having a severe allergy attack, but it appears it is more than that, and I’ve barely slept (and not well when I did), but have to be at work all the same anyway today for a variety of reasons I’d rather not go into, especially if I don’t want to get any heat over being gone for one day next week in order to get to PantheaCon (for a plane ticket price that didn’t break the already-cracked bank, that is). I often seem to get sick right before or after the con’, it seems, for the past few years, so make of that what you will.

So, given that it’s just over a week away, and some of you might be wondering what my plans might be for the con’, I’m giving my provisional schedule below, including all the events I’m involved in presenting, plus the ones I plan to attend as well.

You may have already understood some indication of these matters previously here, but this is my plans in more detail, complete with info from the online schedule!

Friday 7:00 PM Coru Cathubodua suite: Temple Consecration. This is a smaller event, which I’ve been invited to (I’ll be helping with one of the invocations), so I’ll be at that, and I hope other colleagues of mine shall be able to attend as well. Before this, though, I’ll be having dinner, getting things ready for the event later in the night, and also just seeing people as they arrive and taking care of logistical things.

Friday 8:45 PM Roving Hero/ine Cultus Ritual

This will begin in the Hexenfest hospitality suite, run by Sharon Knight, and will proceed to three more at half-hour intervals from 9:30 onwards, in the following order: Pagans of Color suite; Sisterhood of Avalon suite; Coru Cathubodua suite. We will be assisted in each portion of the ritual by people from that suite, and in the case of the Hexenfest suite, we’ll mainly be assisted by our allies in Come As You Are Coven. After preliminary honorings of Diva Sabina, Hadrian, Antinous, and the Trophimoi, we will be honoring four hero/ines in the course of this ritual, in order: Antinoë the foundress of Mantineia; Memnon son of Eos and Tithonos; Boudicca; and Cú Chulainn. At each stop, a deity will also be honored, respectively: Hermes; Amesemi; Andraste; and The Morrígan. With each hero, offerings will be given, praises will be sung, and a prayer will be made for a particular group of people corresponding to the interests or associations of the hero/ine concerned, respectively: women foundresses/innovators/discoverers; People of Color killed by police and violent racism; survivors of rape and sexual assault; and veterans.

Once that is over, I expect to hang out with people a small bit before getting back to my motel and trying to sleep for a bit.

*****

Saturday 9:00AM

Oak Mapping Her Memory: Seeking the Goddesses of Wales Jhenah Telyndru
Bio: Jhenah Telyndru is the founder and Morgen of the Sisterhood of Avalon, Academic Dean of the Avalonian Thealogical Seminary, and member of the Pagan music group Afalarian. She is the author of “Avalon Within: A Sacred Journey of Myth, Mystery, and Inner Wisdom”, and the creator of a unique embodiment meditation system found on the “Trancing the Inner Landscape: Avalonian Landscape Postures” DVD. She presents workshops across North America and facilitates journeys to sacred sites in the British Isles with Mythic Seeker Spiritual Pilgrimages. Jhenah holds a Masters Degree in Celtic Studies from the University of Wales, Trinity St. David.

Description: Embark upon a virtual pilgrimage through ancient sites in Wales as we seek out the Goddesses of the Mabinogi in the sacred landscape. Drawing upon decades of retracing the paths that legends have carved into the land, this presentation will feature striking visuals of sites associated with the Ladies of the Mabinogi, and will explore the archaeological, historical, and folkloric contexts of these mythic places. We will discuss the power of pilgrimage, and share journeying tools which can help to initiate or deepen relationships with these powerful British Goddesses.

Saturday 11:00AM

Riesling Gods and Radicals: Anti-Capitalist Resistance and Pagan Practice Rhyd Wildermuth & Alley Valkyrie
Bio: Alley Valkyrie is a writer, activist, and spirit-worker who has spent the past several years working with homeless and impoverished populations throughout Oregon’s Willamette Valley. Her work is focused on demystifying and humanizing the experiences of homelessness and poverty. She has been immersed in both radical politics and the Craft for over fifteen years, is an initiate in the Feri tradition, and is committed to fighting oppression as an act of service to the Gods. Alley writes regularly for The Wild Hunt, and is currently trying her hand at a memoir.

Description: Is there something inherently radical to Pagan belief and practice? Modern Paganism has been full of radicals – from the Anarcho-Socialists within the Order of the Golden Dawn to the eco-leftists of Reclaiming. Likewise, indigenous resistance movements to Capitalism and exploitation have often invoked gods and spirits to fight off destruction of their way of life, from the ritual that sparked the Haitian revolution to the invocations to Pachamama in South America. We will explore connections between earth-based traditions and anti-Capitalism, and discuss conflicts between worshiping Gods and living in modern societies.

Saturday 1:30PM

Oak Turning The Wheel: Nurturing Young Leaders & Embracing Change Thorn, Jason, David, Courtney, Shauna, Luna, Elena, Athena
Bio: T. Thorn Coyle is a magic worker and author of Make Magic of Your Life: Purpose, Passion, and the Power of Desire. Jason Pitzl-Waters is editor emeritus of The Wild Hunt. David Salisbury is a queer, vegan, Witch experiencing life in our nation’s capital. Courtney Weber is a Wiccan Priestess, writer, and Tarot Adviser. Shauna Aura Knight is an artist, writer, event planner and community builder. Luna Pantera is a practicing Witch in the Bay area who works for Social Justice, Reproductive Health, LGBTI Rights, and basic equality and fairness for all. Elena Rose is a writer, religion scholar, medic, and survivor. Athena Nikai is a Priestess with CAYA Coven.

Description: T. Thorn Coyle will moderate a special panel of Pagan leaders under 50, sparking an interactive dialog about how we can better nurture and support younger leaders, and how we can effectively embrace healthy generational changes in our organizations, events, and institutions. Participants will include Jason Pitzl-Waters of The Wild Hunt, David Salisbury, Courtney Weber, Shauna Aura Knight, Luna Pantera, Elena Rose, and Athena Nikai.

Saturday 3:30PM

San Juan/ San Carlos Queering Conjure: Working Roots of Liberation Lou Florez
Bio: Lou Florez is an internationally known speaker and lecturer of folk magic traditions of the South. He is a deeply rooted Spirit Worker, Priest, and Medium who has studied with indigenous elders and medicine holders from across the globe. Lou is graduate of Catherine Yronwode’s Hoodoo Rootwork Correspondence Course, and is a member of The Association of Independent Readers and Rootworkers, a gathering of professional practitioners of African American folk magic, hoodoo, conjure, and rootwork, who provide psychic readings and spiritual root doctoring services to the public. In 2008, Lou was confirmed as an Olorisha and Priest of Shango under Iyanifa Ifalade Ta’Shia Asanti of Ile Ori Ogbe Egun, and is a Tata Nkisi in the Bacongo Tradition. Lou also holds the title of High Priest through Neo-Egyptian Tradition in Dallas, and he has studied and apprenticed with Curanderos and Hoodoo Workers throughout the South.

Description: Born from divergent cultural, economic, political, and spiritual upheavals in American history, the Southern rootwork tradition supplies a magical framework for investigating liberation. As spiritual workers and Hoodoos in the 21st century we are called to the table to create new magics of resistance and liberation that address the current needs of our communities. Join Lou for a hands on rootworking seminar on Queer conjure in practice. Enjoy educational demos deconstructing traditional Southern spiritual workings and techniques and re-imagining them with a Queer twist! We will create baths, mojos, and waters that are designed for your needs!

Saturday 7:00PM

San Juan/ San Carlos Bringing Race to the Table; An Exploration of Racism in Paganism Bringing Race to the Table Authors

Bio: Authors in the anthology Bringing Race to the table; An Exploration of Racism in the Pagan Community, published with Immanion/Megalithica.

Description: Discussions of race, diversity and equity have become a part of the Pagan community. The importance of these conversations intersect with our communities ability to build safety and social nets that are healthy & sustainable for all Pagans. Join authors from the Bringing Race to the Table: An Exploration of Racism in the Pagan Community anthology in discussions about race, appropriation & privilege. Moderated by Crystal Blanton.

Saturday 9:00PM

San Jose Teenage Gods and Heroes Ekklesia Antinoou
Bio: The Ekklesia Antinoou (“Citizenry of Antinous”) is a queer, Graeco-Roman-Egyptian syncretist reconstructionist polytheist group dedicated to worship of Antinous, the deified lover of the Roman Emperor Divus Hadrianus, and related divine figures. This form of modern Antinoan practice has been functioning since 2002. P. Sufenas Virius Lupus will be conducting this session, with assistance from several other Ekklesia Antinoou members and friends.

Description: Ever feel like older pagans don’t understand you? Antinous died when he was between the ages of 17 and 20, and became a god. The hero Polydeukion and his heroic foster-brothers Memnon and Achilles were between the ages of 12 and 18 when they died. Many gods and heroes associated with all of these were also youthful. The Ekklesía Antínoou is committed to fostering teenagers, recognizing their wisdom, and incorporating them into a mature and effective practice for the benefit of the greater community. In this presentation/ritual, come find out what it means to have teenage gods and heroes! Primarily for teenagers, but anyone can attend. Doors close at start time.

I then plan to hang out afterwards with anyone from that event who wishes to talk a bit more and not only plan for Lupercalia the next day, but also for future projects in the Ekklesía Antínoou that require the participation of young people (e.g. the mysteries associated with Polydeukion and co.).

*****

Sunday 7:00 AM Inundation–are we doing this? Say so in the comments here, or else I’ll call it off for this year…

Sunday 9:00AM

Boardroom Juggling the Gods: syncretism in theory and practice Soli Johnson
Bio: Soli has been actively involved in magical practices for 20 years and a polytheist for 15.

Description: Whether by chance or fate, some modern pagans and polytheists find themselves honoring Gods and spirits from more than one tradition. Here we will discuss the hows and whys of syncretism, the role of history, navigating ways to keep Everyone happy, avoiding cultural appropriation, and still having a life outside of the shrine.

Sunday 11:00AM

Fir Poetess and Prophetess: The Morrigan and Poetry Morpheus Ravenna & Rynn Fox
Bio: Both founding priests in the Coru Cathubodua Priesthood, Morpheus Ravenna and Rynn Fox share a dedication to the Morrigan and a vibrant practice of devotional Celtic polytheism. Morpheus is a spiritual worker, artist, and initiate of Anderson Feri. She spearheads the Coru, with a forthcoming book on the Morrigan. She can be reached at bansheearts.com. Rynn is a longtime practitioner of Feri and Morningstar Mystery School. In addition to serving as communications officer for the Coru, she is also a staff writer for Pagan and minority religion media outlet, The Wild Hunt (wildhunt.org)

Description: She speaks oracular prophecies, foretelling what is to come. She incites heroes to greatness on the battlefield with mighty words. She chants spells of druidry and sorcery. She recites tales of high deeds and the sorrows of the fallen. The Morrigan is known by many as a war Goddess, but She is also a poet – a keeper of memory and a weaver of words. Join us for this workshop to learn about Her relationship to poetry, and what She can teach us about the ancient Celtic poetic traditions of versed memetic knowledge, mantic prophecy, and magical incantation.

Sunday 1:30PM

Boardroom Visioning for our Culture-Gender, Many Genders, No Gender Michelle Mueller and Gina Pond
Bio: Doctoral student of the Graduate Theological Union, bisexual femme female, and Gardnerian Witch, Michelle Mueller is perfecting her essay, “The Chalice and the Rainbow: Conflicts Between Women’s Spirituality and Gender Queer Paganism in 21st Century North America.” A co-editor of “Gender and Transgender in Modern Paganism”, Rev. Gina Pond is a Wiccan priest with the Circle of Cerridwen and a Christian pastor. She hosts the “This Week In Heresy” podcast (thisweekinheresy.com) and is pastor of the multi-faith Between the Worlds Church that meets in Oakland. She also has brightly colored hair.

Description: This program is open to people of all genders (including non-gendered folk), and is especially for people interested in working together through conflicts in community. Our program encourages respect for transgender, genderqueer, intersex, cisgender female and male, and Goddess-oriented feminist Pagans in our community. Doors close at start time.

Sunday 3:30PM

San Martin/ San Simeon Lupercalia and Parentalia 2015! Ekklesia Antinoou
Bio: The Ekklesia Antinoou (“Citizenry of Antinous”) is a queer, Graeco-Roman-Egyptian syncretist reconstructionist polytheist group dedicated to worship of Antinous, the deified lover of the Roman Emperor Divus Hadrianus, and related divine figures. This form of modern Antinoan practice has been functioning since 2002. P. Sufenas Virius Lupus will be conducting this session, with assistance from several other Ekklesia Antinoou members and friends.

Description: The wolves are back in town to kick some serious goat-arse!…Oops, I mean, come and participate in this ritual of purification and ancestral honoring with the Ekklesía Antínoou as we honor the gods associated with Lupercalia, and of course, Antinous! ALL ARE WELCOME! Doors close at start time.

I will then be having a dinner with a few folks from the Ekklesía Antínoou that I might not get to hang out with otherwise.

Sunday 7:00 PM Gender Diversity Discussion

This will be in the Pagans of Color hospitality suite, and will feature Didi, Elena Rose, Xochiquetzal Duti Odinsdottir, and possibly others. It should be interesting!

Sunday 9:00PM

Oak Kali Puja: Devotions to the Dark Goddess Chandra Alexandre & SHARANYA
Bio: SHARANYA is home to (R)evolutionary Shakta Tantra. We are a federally-recognized devi mandir (goddess temple) based in San Francisco and Puri (Orissa) India working for social justice through the work of blossoming radical truth, healing and wholeness through individual sadhana (spiritual practice), devotion, and the Dark Goddess as Kali Maa.

Description: Come ready to engage the mystery that is Maa Kali for a time of reflection, surrender, celebration and magic in Her embrace. All are welcome to dance and sing Her praises. Jai Maa! Doors close at start time.

It will then be off to bed for me…

*****

I’ll spend the morning doing things and seeing people that I have not been able to see beforehand.

Monday 11:00AM

Carmel The Etruscan Gods: Harmony in Heaven and Earth Murtagh anDoile
Bio: Murtagh anDoile is an independent scholar; a Drui of the Tuatha De Danann (NECTW), an Irish Mystery Tradition; and the founder of Nemed na Morrigna (Morrigan’s Grove). He has been published in various Pagan magazines. Through talks given in the early 80s, at diverse festivals, he is one of the progenitors of the Celtic Reconstructionist movement. He was interviewed in “Keepers of the Flame: Interviews with Elders of Traditional Witchcraft in America.” He has studied Geomancy for 35 years and written an Etruscan Magical system. He is the Director of the Pagan History Project.

Description: The Etruscans (The Rasenna) were a non-Indo-European people who occupied Northern Italy a millenia prior to the rise of the Roman Empire. While compared to the Greek gods of their neighbors, the Etruscan Gods, the Aiser, “the college of Gods”, is unique. The Aiser sought for a balance in the universe, and were characterized by harmonious lateral relationships, rather than hierarchy. We will look at these Gods and their relationship to the Etruscan Discipline; the divinatory practices or “rules” used to determine the will of the gods and meaning of the sixteen stations of the Sky.

Monday 1:30PM

Pine Deep Roots and Strong Branches: Essentials of Polytheism River Devora
Bio: River Devora is a multi-trad spirit worker, medium, and clergyperson. She has been actively involved with the Bay Area pagan communities since 1994, and has led classes and rituals locally and nationally. In 2013, she founded South Bay Heathen Shenanigans, a ritual and learning group for folks interested in pre-Christian Northern Europe. She initiated as a community priestess with Waxing Muse Coven in 1996, initiated to Ochun in 2011, and is oathed to Odin, Freyr, Loki, Juksakka, and the Morrigan. She lives with her living and non-living family in a quiet home with a bossy garden.

Description: The old ways are returning. Slumbering gods reawaken, gaining strength and gathering followers. But many of the traditions themselves are incomplete. In addition to devotion to deities, most older polytheist societies also included ancestor veneration, life cycle rituals, personal ethics, group mores, ways of living on and with the land and its spirits, ritual and spiritual artistic expression, and spirit tech to best do these things. Let’s discuss how to weave together rich, complete, and meaningful polytheist traditions. Open to all polytheist paths, old, new, and reinterpreted.

I will be leaving on Tuesday morning, so after the con’, I will be free to hang out a bit locally, if you would like to see me and have not donen so before that point.

So, that’s the plan for the moment; some of the things aren’t set in stone, but the bolded items most definitely are.

So, my day started out earlier than expected, as I couldn’t sleep past 7:30 AM. I duly rose, got myself ready for the day, and went over to the Double Tree early to have breakfast before getting registered, carrying quite a lot of stuff from the Motel Styx for the day’s events. Breakfast there was a mistake, as it was over $20 (with tax), so I sort of made it brunch, though I did not eat excessively; however, I did start speaking with a number of people I’d never met before, who it turns out are from Seattle. This recurred many times during the day, with folks saying they never meet Seattle-area pagans outside of coming to PantheaCon, which speaks volumes on all sorts of socially unfortunate aspects of our otherwise rather blessed Northwestern culture and environmental experience.

I got registered, visited the Green Room and got logistics taken care of for the rest of the weekend, and then went to leave some of my things with Ogam for a while. I then encountered Duffi, with whom I spent the majority of the day. We hung out in her room for a while, I practiced most of the songs I’d be using in the weekend while she stepped out for a few minutes, and then I briefly visited the Sisterhood of Avalon suite to meet Jhenah and a few of the others who would be involved in events later in the night.

We attended a panel called “The Good, The Bad, and The Blogging” which featured six Patheos.com Pagan Channel bloggers (among them Rhyd Wildermuth, Niki Whiting, Jason Mankey, Crystal Blanton, and John Halstead) moderated by Angus McMahan. It was a good panel, and apparently John Halstead has decided to own the unflattering nickname “Johnny Humanist” that a certain someone gave him by having a shirt printed with those words on it, which he proudly wore. Many interesting and good questions were asked by the moderator, as well as the audience, and I was especially moved by Crystal Blanton’s remarks about being “the eyes and the mouth” of Yemaja through her work on the Daughters of Eve blog at Patheos. We spoke with a few folks afterwards, then went to the vendor’s room, where I connected with Yeshe Rabbit and Lou Flores (who I had not met in person before—he’s unfairly adorable!), obtained some ankh-shaped sistra, and saw a variety of other folk (including Lupa, who I meant to give something, and we ran into each other about eight times, literally, and I never remembered to give it to her! But, there’s always tomorrow!), then had a lovely early dinner (lovely due to the company, not the quality or taste of the food), then took another break to get ready for the evening’s events.

The first big one was at 7 PM: namely, the Coru Cathubodua priesthood’s consecration of the Morrígan’s temple. I had not been to any of their rituals before, and it was quite amazing, and very powerful—even challengingly so on a physical and more-than-physical level. I helped to honor and call in Cú Chulainn (and part of his retinue!), and it seemed well-received by both Himself and the people in attendance.

There was some logistical faffing between 8:00 and 8:30, but the requisite people did get to the right place for our Roving Hero/ine Cultus ritual, honoring Antinoë the foundress of Mantineia, Memnon son of Eos and Tithonos, Boudicca, and Cú Chulainn, with preliminary honorings of Diva Sabina, Hadrian, Antinous, Polydeukion and the Trophimoi; the banners of Herodes Attikos, Appia Annia Regilla, Elpinike and Athenais, and Paneros were also carried in the procession. The deities Hermes, Amesemi, Andraste, and the Morrígan were also honored. We ended up using the “human sandwich board” option for carrying the various (15!) banners, which was somewhat silly but effective, too, in a pinch. The ritual was amazing, beautiful, touching, powerful, and—most of all (especially at the end) FUN, with one small exception on my part: I totally forgot the tune on the Hadrian hymn at the beginning, which is one of our oldest (!?!), so I just read it in Latin instead. However, the reason I did was not because of just some random brain blanking, but because the Diva Sabina hymn that we did first was so unbelievably moving to me, to have her modern cultus start with me on my own in the hospital in Cork, Ireland to having 20+ people present singing with me all of her praises…it really got me choked up, and if I had been alone, I am certain I’d have been on the ground crying. I was able to sing pretty well for the rest, though, and the various groups added wonderful things in terms of their own participation at each stage: Yeshe Rabbit and the Bloodroot Honey Priestess Tribe (and others) from Come As You Are Coven made a splendid altar for Antinoë with a golden fleece, snakes, and a hearth (I wish I would have obtained a photo!), and did beautiful prayers; Xochiquetzal read the Memnon hymn incredibly effectively, and the many names that were spoken in remembrance were poignant; the Sisterhood of Avalon wrote their own group prayer and invocation (with drumming) that was excellent, as well as making a beautiful altar for Boudicca; and it was a very festive atmosphere in the Coru suite. The lists of names that were added by people at each stage of the ritual during the prayers (for remarkable and innovative women, People of Color killed by the police, rape and sexual assault survivors for whom we screamed, and then also veterans) were an amazing and moving moment of connection for everyone at each of the ritual’s four parts, especially so for all those who were there for the entire procession; this is often the case with Ekklesía Antínoou rituals.

The other unforeseen circumstance was that all the hospitality suites were (luckily!) all on the 2nd floor, but three of them were literally next door to each other, so the processions between the various stations (Hexenfest with Come As You Are Coven, the Pagans of Color suite, the Sisterhood of Avalon, and the Coru Cathubodua) were mere seconds long rather than the few minutes through crowded halls I expected it would be, so the entire thing—which began at 8:53 (eight minutes later than intended) was over by just after 10, when I expected it would be more like 11. No matter about that, we honored a number of heroes who get almost no attention at all, and two goddesses who are also in the same boat–and one of whom, Amesemi, has probably not been honored for around 2,300 years. So, that was ultimately and amazingly and impactfully good, but it just seemed like it was over too quickly even though we were not rushing at all at any stage. The end, though, was especially joyful and a bit silly with the duet that myself and Morpheus Ravenna did in the voices of Cú Chulainn and the Morrígan, which was a good cathartic moment on which to end it after the rather intense and heavy parts of the ritual earlier in its process.

[Nonetheless, I can report that this was our best-attended event of the weekend, and I got loads of compliments and positive feedback on it throughout the weekend from those who were there!]

I ended my night at the con’ in the Coru suite, speaking with lovely people both known and new-to-me, then got back to the Styx, saw Alley and Rhyd for a few moments, then came back and unencumbered myself of my too-warm garments.

One other thing happened which was funny. Due to lack-of-pocket issues, the rather ample collection of amulets, talismans, and devotional tokens I take with me daily (which fill a full good-sized cargo trouser pocket!) had to be redistributed to a few smaller pouches, which I improvised carrying on my person in various places. My newer set of Ephesia Grammata, in their pouch, got attached to a special cord loop I have, and the easiest thing to have them do was hang in the rather unusual Greek skirt I was wearing. This had the effect, which Morpheus pointed out at the end of the night, of making it look like I had rather ample Peter Danglage, so to speak. Given that the Megabyzoi, who were sometimes eunuchs, used the Ephesia Grammata, it is rather fitting that they functioned on this occasion as testicular surrogate over-compensators. ;)

[gold tablet]

Now you have died and now you have come into being,
O thrice happy one, on this same day,
Achilles foster-son of Herodes the Sophist.
Tell the Psychopomp that […] son of the Argus-Slayer guides you.
Tell Persephone that […] Eleutherios and Epiphanes himself has freed you.
A calf, you leapt into milk.
Quickly, you leapt into milk.
A kid, you fell into milk.
You have wine as your honor,
and honey from the heroes,
and ambrosia from the blessed ones.
And below the earth,
or on isles of the heroes,
or in the halls of the starry heavens
you will have the same garlands and prizes
as the other blessed ones
which have been prepared for you…

[gold leaves]

From the work of Mnemosyne, when you are about to perish:

Say to the Psychopomp, “Pure, I have come from the pure ones;
Cleansed, I go forth again to the pure ones from whence I came.
I, Herodes Attikos the Sophist, was initiated
at the hearth of Demophoön in Eleusis;
send me to the feast of the initiates,
for I possess the rituals of the Mother and the Maiden
and of all the secret rites of the Orphic sages
from Magna Graecia to Thrace to the plain of Ephesus.”

He will challenge you upon your giving of these words.
Heed these words well! Call upon your allies thus:
“I come pure from the pure ones, and call forth
from the blameless Ethiopians, Memnon Topadein.”
The Psychopomp will reply, “Accept this gift of Mnemosyne,
sung of amongst mortals. Memnon Topadein has come,
by law raised to become divine,
he will be your defender through all strife
and will see you safely to the plains
illuminated by the sacred light of the dark sun.”

A woman will come to you, three-faced, three-voiced,
and she will impede your progress. Do not fear her,
but instead seek in your vision the sight of the formless fire
from which this Goddess has arisen, and in which will be your safety.

When under the shadowy mountains in that dark-gleaming land
the child Achilles brings from Persephone’s garden for milking,
by Ananke, the four-footed holy servant of Demeter,
a nanny laden with an unceasing flow of rich milk,
and the nanny follows, trusting in the bright goddesses’ torches,
and Hekate Enodia, shouting a foreign-sounding shout in a terrifying voice,
does, herself a Goddess, point out to a Good God the way.

Say to her, “I come self-bidden through the black night,
and coming forth from the chambers I say to gods immortal
and to mortals the god-spoken things of the bright-fruited deity,
announcing to them to keep their hands from impious burnt offerings.
And I invite them to hear in their hearts
the sweet sounds of the divine voice:
I order you to make incantation over mortal men,
both in war and not in war and on ships,
whenever death-bringing Ares comes upon all men
and upon flocks and mortal issue,
indeed thus to make incantation night and day.”

Say further to her, “Aski Kataski Kataski Aisia Aisia Endasion,
come to the fair pasture, towards milking-–
Aix. Borne on the wind, drive out the she-goat
from the garden by force. Your name is Tetragos Aix Aix Lix.
Blessed is the one on whom this shout, ‘IO,’ was scattered along the highway,
and who keeps in his heart the voice of the blessed along the highway,
‘Trax Tetrax Tetragos, Damnameneus,”
and subdue by Ananke, though, those foully unwilling before you.

Finally, say to her the passwords:
Dog, Serpent, Chaplet, Key, Caduceus,
bronze sandal of the ruler of Tartaros,
gold sandal of Demeter,
bronze sandal of Aphrodite who comes forth from the sea at Cyprus;
having seen the iron-sandalled female I fled
and went in the tracks of the gold-sandalled Kore;
save me, savior of the cosmos, daughter of Demeter.

[Passwords: man-and-child, child-and-man,
thyrsus, thyrsus, torch, hearth, Brimos, Brimo,
Antinous, Erebos, Darkness, Aion, Light,
Artemis chaste, four-footed Amaltheia the nurse of Zeus,
Aphrodite delighting in her girdle, Persephone,
Phoebe Selene Artemis the silver arrow-pourer,
far-shooting Apollon, the Adonis under-the-earth,
Demeter the provident, Dionysos and Iakkhos and Kore Persephone,
and Herakles the arrow-tamer, keep these words unbreakable forever.
Enter the holy meadow for the initiate is redeemed. AIOUE.]

When you have come to the Styx, say to the Boatman the entirety
of the Orphic Forumula–ASKI KATASKI and the rest–and like Orpheus,
you will pass by Cerberus unafraid; and when you come before the judges
of the underworld, Minos and Rhadamanthys and Aiakos, say to them,
“Antinous-Osiris, Judge of the Clarified,
Eleutherios and Epiphanes Himself has freed me from bondage,
and Antinous-Hermes, son of the Argus-Slayer,
the Psychopomp Himself has delivered me.”

You will come to the finely-crafted house of Hades.
There is a pond to the right, and by it a white cypress tree.
The souls of the dead, upon completing their descent,
arrive at it and refresh themselves within it.

But do not go near to this spring yourself!
It is the pond of Lethe, stagnant and unflowing,
and one drop from it will bring oblivion.

Resist your thirst and restrain from being cleansed
of the filth from your descent and the length of your journey,
O child nursed on the milk of Muses at sacred springs.

Go further, and you will find there
the cold waters of the lake of Mnemosyne,
and there are guards standing before it.

Say to them, “I am parched with thirst and am dying,
but give to me a drink from the flowing spring of Mnemosyne.”

They will inquire of you, with piercing truth,
of your origins and your purpose for disturbing them
in the darkest depths of the house of Hades:
“Who are you? Where are you from?”

Give them your answer, “I am Herodes Attikos the Sophist,
pure and sacred to Iakkhos and beloved of the Mother and the Maiden.”

Then say to them, “I am a child of Gaia and star-flecked Ouranos,
but my soul is of Nyx alone. By birth, I am a Titan;
by adoption, I am of the Protogenoi.
Antinous’ Mysteries are known to me.
I claim to be of your own blessed race; you yourselves know this.
But I am parched with thirst and am dying, thus for my drink
quickly give me cold water from the lake of Mnemosyne.”

They will give of the waters of Mnemosyne for you to drink,
and will announce you before the Chthonian Sovereigns
and will introduce you to the sacred paths
upon which the blessed initiates tread
into the sweet gardens of Persephone
and the refuge of immortals and the clarified dead.

Say to them, “I have paid the penalty for unrighteous deeds.
Moira overcame me, or the star-flinger with lightning.
I have flown out of the heavy, difficult sphere.
I have approached the longed-for crown with swift gait,
I have sunk beneath the breast of the Lady, the Chthonian Queen,
I have sought the laurel-crown with purest devotion.
Now I come as a suppliant to Persephone
that she may kindly send me to the seats of the pure.”

They will bring you before the Chthonian Queen Herself,
she will say to you, “Greetings, you who have suffered the painful thing;
you have never endured this before. Rejoice! Rejoice!
You are of our own blessed and happy race.
You have become a god instead of a mortal.
A kid you fell into milk. Greet the ones who have come before you!”

Now you have died and now you have come into being,
O thrice happy one, on this same day,
Lucius Vibullius Hipparchus Tiberius Claudius
Herodes Attikos the Sophist of Marathon,
called the Tenth Muse with Sappho of Lesbos.
A calf, you leapt into milk. Quickly,
you leapt into milk. A kid, you fell into milk.
You have wine as your honor, and honey
from the heroes, and ambrosia from the blessed ones.
And below the earth, or on isles of the heroes,
or in the halls of the starry heavens
you will have the same garlands and prizes
as the other blessed ones which have been prepared for you
by the ranks of the heroes of old,
of the ancestors, and of the gods themselves,
and especially the heroes Memnon Topadein, Achilles,
and Vibullius Polydeukion, the heroine Appia Annia Regilla,
as well as the Divine Hadrian, the Divine Sabina, and the Lovely God Antinous.

These are the words of Vibullius Polydeukion,
dictated to his foster-father Herodes Attikos the Sophist
from the prow of the Boat of Millions of Years.

Hail to the Heroes!
Hail to the Trophimoi!
Hail to Polydeukion, Memnon, and Achilles!
Hail to Herodes Attikos!
Hail to Appia Annia Regilla!
Hail to Elpinike and Athenais!
Hail to Regillus, Attikos Bradua, and Lucius Claudius Herodes!
Hail to Lucius Marius Vitalis!
Hail, Hail, Hail Antinous!

Before she realized that the Iuno Augustae was not just a figure of speech, and that it–or, rather, she–was carrying her heaven-ward at a rate not matched by the fastest horse she’d ever seen, Vibia Sabina’s heavenly ascent was over. There had been no Boatman or River Styx; there had been no Psychopomp; and, to her vision, The Maiden was nowhere to be sean.

The place was dark, but not the infernal darkness that she had expected would be her lot in death, no matter what was said of her mother, grandmother, and grand-aunt when they had died and been granted apotheosis. The geography of the place was also not what she had thought it might be: yes, there was a river, but not one thronged by crowds of the dead. This river had a width that seemed finite, but its expanse seemed infinite, or at least beyond her vision at that moment, which she noticed was far better than her vision had been while alive.

She wished that the Iuno Augustae was still there to perhaps answer a question or two about what was next.

But, her questions would soon be answered, as a small ship on the horizon seemed to get larger and larger as it approached on the river. At one moment, it looked like a small papyrus boat that could only hold a small number of people; then it seemed like a larger wooden skiff; then it seemed like a very large Greek trireme; then it had shapes and sizes that were unrecognized and unfathomable to her, as if an entire block of the tallest insulae in Rome–only of gleaming white metal rather than brick–was the side of the ship that she could see. Even Nero’s maddest ships on Lake Nemi were not of the scale that the one before her had reached.

A gangplank was lowered from whatever-sort-of-ship it was, and at the top of it was someone she never expected to see: Antinous.

“Holy Empress, welcome to you!”

“Antinous? Or is it some beautiful god that has taken the shape of that boy for my sake?”

“Perceptively stated, Empress, but you were right the first time…and right in the sense that I am also a god.”

“Then what that Egyptian said to the Emperor was not vain flattery!”

“Did you ever doubt it?”

“I must admit, I did, often when I was angry; but never when I saw the love in the eyes of your worshippers, or the amazement at the miracles and prayers answered when I heard of them.”

“And yet, here I am!”

“I do not doubt what I am seeing now, Antinous!”

“Then, come aboard!”

“What sort of ship is this?”

“Its the Barque of Millions of Years.”

“As the Egyptians spoke of?”

“Yes; and yet, not.”

“And with it, will we cross this river?”

“There is no crossing of this river.”

“Is it…the Styx? No, wait, perhaps the Phlegethon or Acheron?”

“No, not at all; it’s the Celestial Nile.”

“Then…have I gone to the Egyptian afterlife?”

“If you wish to do so, we can visit it, or any other afterlife imaginable, and several more not imaginable, all from this ship and its course along the Celestial Nile.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Something strange has happened, Empress. As Phlegon once said about the Emperor himself, his book falls between shelves in the library. So, too, have I in my afterlife: would it be the blessed meadows of Persephone as a result of my Eleusinian initiation, the Isles of the Blessed for my heroism and being among the aoroi, some semblance of Roman apotheosis from my connection with the Emperor, or the Egyptian Amduat for my death and deification in their traditions? The Immortal Gods decided that to favor one option over another would be unfair to some part of my experiences and ancestry, and thus all would be served by allowing all to be equally true. What they did not allow for was that, as a god rather than a dead person, or even a hero, allowed me a degree of agency even beyond the parameters of those options, and thus I have free access to go wherever I wish.”

“It is as it said on the Obelisk, then…”

“Indeed! There are no guardians of any afterlife that have not greeted me warmly and allowed me passage into it, with or without others accompanying me, and I have indeed often left with more in my company than when I entered!”

“And so, what of me?”

“You are among the deified Emperors and Empresses, just as Hadrian will be in time. But, you are also connected to me, and my authority is greater than that of even the Greatest Emperor, Trajan, your grand-uncle. If it is your wish to be among them, then I can take you there, or to the rewards of your Eleusinian initiation, or indeed anywhere you like.”

“What if I decide to stay with you, Antinous?”

“Then it would be my honor to have you in my presence for as long as you wish it, Empress!”

“You may cease with the ‘Empress’ address, dear boy; it is obvious to me that, whatever that title may have meant on the earth, it means little here in the presence of a god.”

“It does mean much for me, even in death, Empress, but let it be as you wish. How, then, shall I address you?”

“You may call me Sabina.”

“The Divine Sabina!”

“No, just Sabina. I feel far from divine at present, and am not certain I ever will.”

“Very well, then, Sabina.”

Antinous smiled and extended his hand to the Empress, who took it with a smile as well and was lead aboard the ship.

“You may feel more divine in time, perhaps especially after a bath and refreshing yourself with some–”

“Waters from the spring of Mnemosyne?”

“Well, if you’d like some, we can obtain them for you; but I was going to say ambrosia, actually.”

“Ah, I see; to be honest, there are many things I’d like to forget, so perhaps the waters of Mnemosyne are not right for me yet. But how is it that there is a bath aboard this ship?”

“You would be amazed what sorts of ships exist in the future–past and future, though they are realities, are not immutable ones here. There are people aboard this vessel who will not be born for over a thousand years, and who are yet dead and among the select few who have passage aboard my ship.”

“What of Hadrian?”

“He is not here yet. It is an unusual situation for him, and for you, since you are a different class of divine being in the afterlife due to your imperial apotheosis and the rules of the Numen Augusti. But he will be, in time, I am certain of it.”

Sabina’s voice became full of worry. “But what if he is not granted apotheosis?”

“Then I will ravage the halls of whatever place he is sent until he is freed.”

Antinous’ reply was so matter-of-fact that Sabina was almost exasperated at his confidence and self-assurance, almost to the point of hubris, and to a degree that Hadrian in his most elevated moments of grandeur could not have hoped to exude. Sabina’s eyes widened and she almost gasped.

“Remember, Empress: I am a god.”

“Sabina, Antinous–Sabina.”

“Oh, yes, I apologize, Sabina. You see?”

“See what?”

“You just corrected a god, and he assented to it!”

They both laughed for a few moments when they realized the strangeness of their circumstances.

“Now, after you have bathed, who might you enjoy meeting at a feast tonight?”

“Gods, mortals, or heroes?”

“Anything you like.”

“Is Helen as beautiful as they say she is?”

“Would you like me to invite her to dinner?”

“If she is not as beautiful as they say, then yes; otherwise, I’m sure I’ll meet her in time. I would prefer to have a while to be ready for such a presence.”

“As you wish. And how about Memnon?”

“The hero Memnon?”

“The son of Eos and Tithonos, indeed. He wishes to meet you, actually!”

“He wishes to meet me?!?”

“He was most pleased by your tribute to him, and that of Julia Balbilla; she is already here.”

“What?!? But she was not dead when I died!”

“No, she lived a long while after; but, though she is also of royal blood, she is one of my especial charges, and thus she is already here.”

“There is so much to learn…so much to adjust to…”

“And so many wonderful beings to meet as well!”

“Then, let us begin. Can Baubo and Iambe attend upon me in the baths?”

“They do so regularly, Sabina!”

“I believe I shall like this afterlife!”

Ave Diva Sabina, Ave Diva Sabina, Ave Diva Sabina…

Hail to you, Sabina, Empress of Rome
who traveled with Hadrian far from home
Hail to you, daughter of Matidia,
grand-daughter of Trajan’s sister, Marciana

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Friend of the Poetess, Julia Balbilla,
Seleucid Sappho of Ionia

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Celebrated on the stone of Memnon–
hero son of Tithonos and Eos of Dawn

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

The new goddess Ceres, Demeter of the Greeks,
for whom on the sunrise Memnon’s statue speaks

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Hera to Hadrian’s Zeus divine,
Aphrodite to Antinous’ Adonis in time

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Magna Mater of Rome’s circus games
and pure Vesta for modesty’s fame

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Holy Diana at Nemi’s lake
and the goddess Fides for loyalty’s sake

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Mother of the goddess Panpsyche,
Mother of the god, Panhyle

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

Grandmother of Paneros and Pancrates
and Paneris and Panprosdexia for all their days

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave

In Egypt’s splendor, Isis of kings
for whose beauty Balbilla sings
On this day by Juno’s wing
we, all who are devoted in joy and praise, sing:

Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave
Sabina Khaire, Sebaste Khaire, Augusta Ave, Sabina Ave…

Ave formosissima,
gemma pretiosa,
ave decus virginum,
virgo gloriosa,
ave mundi luminar,
ave mundi rosa,
Sabina et Iulia,
Sabina et Iulia,
Venus, Venus,
Venus generosa!

Today in the Ekklesía Antínoou Calendar is the Dies Sanguinis, the “Day of Blood” when the aspiring Galli castrated themselves; and, likely as not, the current Galli probably had flagellant parades and other such things involving bloodletting for sacrificial purposes. Given my post yesterday for the Death of Attis, I don’t know that another piece of fiction can top that for the moment. Plus, I’ve had blood-lettings and sacrifices of a different painful nature on both days: having more needles stuck in my eye (yesterday), and finding out today that 1/3 of my paid work for the next three months has evaporated for no reason other than the people running the show where I work are complete and total fuck-heads.

To say that they are not good leaders would be like saying that grass is green or that water is wet.

And, that’s a subject that has been talked about around the blogosphere quite a lot recently.

Sannion posed some really good questions on this matter, to wit:

What makes a good leader? Is this primarily a religious or social role, and what’s involved in it? Specifically what tasks should leaders be performing? What special qualifications should a leader have? What ethical and other considerations are involved in the role? What kind of power and authority should we invest our leaders with and to what ends? How should leaders be appointed and more importantly removed from office? Are leaders accountable to their people and if so in what areas? Do we even need leaders?

And in the comments on that post, Merri-Todd had this to say:

I think that pagan/polytheist groups and organizations should include amongst their leadership 1) people who deal primarily with the gods, such as priests and diviners, 2) people who primarily minister to other people, teaching, leading rites of passage, providing help in crises, and 3) people who are actually good at administration, bookkeeping, PR, and the like, without expecting any great overlap in the membership of the three groups. All three groups should ideally be accountable to one another to some degree and to anybody else who is part of the community but none of the above.

Sannion’s post is in response to a Wild Hunt article by Crystal Blanton, which follows on from some things at PantheaCon, which I wrote about recently as well, and which was also raised in another way by Cara Schulz’s recent article on AuroraWolf.

In that same links post where I mentioned AuroraWolf’s presentation, I also mentioned a video I had seen by Simon Sinek, which if you didn’t watch it before, please have a look at it now–it really is worth it, and says a HUGE amount about my own approaches to Sannion’s very important questions. Here, I’ll wait while you watch it.

Did you watch it? No, really: did you watch it?

If not, I’ll wait here again until you do. Yes, it is that important.

Before I get into some of the direct questions that Sannion asked, and some of the issues Sinek raises, I’ll just mention a little observation that I had about PantheaCon this last year, in terms of the three events I was involved in putting on. (And if you want to refresh your memory on those, here are my posts about them: the Roving Hero/ine Cultus Ritual, Teenage Gods and Heroes, and Lupercalia). And, this applies to what has happened in previous years as well when I’ve been at PantheaCon, and generally when I’ve put on public rituals, too. That little detail is: I tend to be either standing up, or possibly kneeling (usually only briefly, e.g. during the Antinoan Petition), for the ritual, but I don’t sit down. Everyone else who is involved, for at least part of the proceedings, is usually sitting for some length of time.

That’s a small thing, you might say, and perhaps an obvious one. But, what does it mean? I think it says a great deal about my approach to leadership and hospitality that this is the case, because I am there to serve and to work, both for the gods and for the people who come. I stand so that they can sit, and by “they” I mean both the people who come to the rituals and events, and also the gods who come and join our festivities for a short time and receive our offerings and our prayers. For me, leadership means work, and doing the work should be a joy, even when it is tedious in its logistical details, annoying in its interpersonal and communal dramas (and yes, that always happens, no matter how much we may wish otherwise!), and even when it is more a necessity than an active choice that things need to be done. In fact, that is why I am in any “leadership” role at all: if I were not doing what I have been doing, no one else would be (or, at least, no one else would be in the same way). When I became a polytheist, I did not have any aspirations of being any sort of leader; but, I did see myself contributing something, and perhaps even organizing certain things. By virtue of the work I’ve done, the experiences I’ve pursued and been granted by the deities and divine powers, and the knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained along the way, I am something of an “authority” in certain areas; but, I don’t think I have let that go to my head in terms of being a leader.

No, I readily admit, I am not the best leader, and in many ways am not suited to the task.

And no, I very forthrightly declare, I am not “the” authority on anything, nor the final or foremost authority on any of the matters in which I have experience.

However, what authority I have I endeavor to use wisely and prudently, and what leadership roles I have either assumed or been granted I have tried to exercise with the utmost care, knowing that leadership is a privilege and that it is not something that simply exists because I (or anyone else) says it does.

This is why I am eager to get other people on board and to start taking leadership roles within the Ekklesía Antínoou, because my time as a founding leader is coming to its logical end, and if we are to have a sustainable future, new people and ideas and influences are going to have to come into the picture.

For my part, I’ll admit that I have not always been eager or willing to take on some of the responsibilities of a leader, because I am someone who likes to try and get the needs of everyone met, and to not exclude people. That has become a problem on some occasions, when people have been disruptive to the group and had to be removed, or when people have misunderstood their roles or their responsibilities and what the community we are trying to build should be providing. It is in the making of those hard decisions, and accepting the consequences for doing so, that my own skills at leadership have been tested, and while I am fairly confident that I have made good decisions thus far when I’ve had to exercise my duly vested authority in those ways, at the same time, I am not so arrogant as to assume I’ve always done what is best and in the best possible fashion…in fact, I know I haven’t, even when the final outcomes have been satisfactory.

To answer some of Sannion’s direct questions now, in as brief a manner as I can manage (hopefully!):

What makes a good leader? I would say three things/areas on this: a) a clear insight and vision for a group or organization or movement; b) the ability to effectively deliver on measurable goals that square with that visionary insight, and thus having the organizational skills, qualifications, knowledge, and accountability to execute those tasks and accomplish those goals; c) those often difficult-to-pin-down qualities of personality that make such individuals exceptional, which can include (but are not limited to) affability, approachability, charisma, humility, diplomacy, and infectious enthusiasm.

Further, I’d say that “b” is the most important, but tends to be useless without “a”; and that while “c” is great, many are those who are useless leaders who yet have several of those characteristics.

Is this primarily a religious or social role, and what’s involved in it? This is a question of context. Certainly, there are many leadership roles that are not religious. In religious groups, though, both tend to be rather important. The Pythia was not the one at Delphi in charge of making sure that arriving pilgrims behaved themselves, and so I think we need to keep that in mind. And yet, the mystic who is entirely removed from the public and from public and social accountability is not at all useful either. In groups where there are spiritual authorities that are separate from the communal and administrative authorities, I think it is useful to have at least a bit of crossover in their functions, even when recognizing that they are separate specializations that are both impactful and important. I would never trust a group in which the day-to-day running of affairs is a role fulfilled by someone who is simply a vapid bureaucrat that leaves the mysticism to others; likewise, I’d never trust a group whose leader and figure of accountability is a misanthropic individual who only thinks they are responsible to their gods and has no skills with people at all. As with so may things, a happy medium is desirable.

Specifically what tasks should leaders be performing? If there are religious groups that have leaders, then religious activities should be coordinated by those leaders. It no longer just becomes a matter of someone having a relationship with their deities and other divine powers, it becomes an act of mediating those deities and powers’ presences in specific contexts with established or incidental communities who gather for that purpose. The wishes of the deities involved must be respected and carried out to the extent that it is possible with one’s own means to do so; but likewise, the wishes of the gathered community also need to be taken into account and catered to in some degree or another. A community that is dysfunctional and never gets what it needs or wants from a group, its leaders, and its gods is not useful; and likewise, deities who are not pleased with what is occurring on the part of leaders or groups are also not to be ignored or downplayed at the expense of doing only what the people or the leaders decide what they want.

What special qualifications should a leader have? It depends on the group involved. Is it a tradition in an established lineage? If so, then that is much easier to determine. If it is not, then the first and foremost qualification is someone willing to step up, step forward, and do the work, no matter what their level of knowledge or experience might be. As Galina Krasskova and various others are so fond of saying, “the work will teach you how to do the work.” I have learned that lesson over and over again in the last 13+ years in terms of Antinoan spirituality in the context of two different groups practicing it, with leadership roles in both. I am still learning it, and will still be learning it when I hang up the mantle of Magistratum at about this time in 2020.

What ethical and other considerations are involved in the role? All of them. But, perhaps that’s not useful. (And I’m not entirely serious in saying that…but I am mostly serious in saying it, too.) I’d say the first and foremost consideration is that the people involved always consent to participation and what is going on, and that even when responsibilities and commitments and obligations (three words that are often taken as “BAD!” amongst many people, including pagans and polytheists) are involved, that certain rules of propriety and courtesy and consideration are observed. Clear communication of expectations is necessary. One’s authority, or that authority vested in others (temporarily for particular rituals or on a more long-term basis), should never be used to abuse people, or to violate their consent, and never to actively and maliciously harm them. No, one cannot always know what the consequences of certain spiritual activities might be, but at the same time, no one should start out any ritual with “I’m going to make this hurt as much as possible for the person being initiated” as their goal. That is one example among many. Leaders should not be expected to be perfect, by any means–none of them can be, so that’s ridiculous!–and yet, their conduct should be exemplary whenever possible, and their accountability is a requirement when things don’t go quite right.

What kind of power and authority should we invest our leaders with and to what ends? That depends on the context of the group involved. At the most base level, if one joins a group and has trust in the leadership of it, then one should expect that the events planned and the ways in which people are invited to participate should be appropriate and (insofar as it is possible with religious matters) safe. Any more than that can’t be stated as across-the-board requirements, in my view, for any group without knowing what sort of group it is. If it is just a bunch of devotees getting together to worship a deity, that’s one thing; if it is an initiatory tradition, that’s something else; and if it is a group with a more public ministry or outreach, that’s another thing again.

How should leaders be appointed and more importantly removed from office? However it is appropriate to the context of the group to do so; but, when in doubt, democracy is a good approach. Likewise, when something major has occurred, votes of no confidence to depose a leader should also come from the group membership.

Are leaders accountable to their people and if so in what areas? For whatever actions the leaders in question are directly responsible, yes they are accountable. If someone comes to a ritual and expects to have an experience of a deity, but doesn’t, whereas other people do (or have in the past), that’s not the ritual leader’s responsibility, that’s something the person should take up with the deity concerned. If someone comes to a ritual and is harmed by the actions of the leader or one of the functionaries of the group, that’s something else. And if a leader uses their position or implied authority outside of the direct activities of the group to extort favors or exert an undue influence on someone, likewise that is entirely on the leader in question.

Do we even need leaders? For some things, yes. Informal devotional groups may not, and can even have something like a rotating head-ship involved, where each week they meet someone different leads the devotions. However, for things like mystery traditions, or larger public rituals, a leader (even without the “official” recognition as such) is desirable, to coordinate activities, to organize the event, and so forth. As much as anarchism is desirable in certain areas of operation, completely anarchic religious groups never accomplish much, at least that I’m aware of.

And then, to Merri-Todd’s comments, I’ll add that while I think the three areas she mentions are important, overlap is not only necessary at this point in the evolution of polytheist groups, it’s common. I am the principal teacher of Antinoan things in this group (and in the previous group), which goes under the title of Doctor or Diadaktoros; and, I am also the ritual leader, which goes under the title of Sacerdos; and I am also the leader/head initiator of the Antinoan Mysteries, which goes under the title of Mystagogos; and, I also happen to be the head administrator at present, which goes under the title of Magistratum. The administrative end of things has been relatively small–there is no money to handle; while PR could be done better by someone more suited to the task, nonetheless the majority of the public notice we have as a group is due to my own efforts; and doing the administrative things like proposing sessions at PantheaCon and organizing events and such has also not been difficult for me. But I am also involved very directly with getting information and guidance from our various deities and divine powers; and I’m also involved pretty directly in being a ritual leader and teacher.

I have not done a lot of “pastoral care” at this point, and I think that’s probably a good thing, not only because I am not entirely qualified to do so (and I think it is a mistake to assume that polytheist and pagan clergy should be able to do this–though those who do and are able to should be applauded and appreciated), but because I don’t think we should assume that this is the “job” of polytheist clergy in the way it has been for Christian clergy. Sure, I am more than willing to discuss spiritual crises involving Antinous and other deities with whom we are involved, and I do have some training in spiritual direction; but, I may not be able to usefully advise someone on their relationship difficulties or how to manage the stresses in their life from their job and their family, etc. It simply wouldn’t be very useful for anyone for me to get that kind of training…

And, especially since all that I’ve done has been voluntary and no one is paying me for it (though some people have very graciously donated money to me at various points to make certain things happen…including the continuation of my life when I’ve not been able to afford medication and such, for which I am superlatively grateful and humbled), the notion that any leader should be *expected* to have some of these skills is a flawed notion, to say the least, in my view. Without the infrastructure to usefully train people and support them in a way that allows them to be properly professional clergy rather than what even those of us with major commitments in this regard have to do at present–which is live as “lifestyle hobbyists,” to put it in the parlance of other subcultures–is unrealistic, firstly, and represents a kind of entitlement on the part of those having such expectations of their leaders and clergy that really needs to be examined much more deeply.

The notion that “I want my leaders and clergy to be everything I want them to be and that I can’t be myself” is a species of that entirely spurious concept of trying to be “all things to all people,” which is not useful for anyone to even contemplate.

Part of what I have always wanted with my involvement in a spiritual practice and religious community focused on Antinous and his many divine friends and allies is something that is tied up in the meaning of bhakti. So many people tend to translate this as “devotion” that it obscures something, and likewise in the modern construction of “devotional polytheism” that so many people talk about these days. Bhakti is not simply “devotion” and being in a loving and worshipful relationship with a deity; it is actually more focused on the notion of “relationship” than anything, and has roots which mean “participation.” Yes, I want to participate in the life of my deities, and I want them to participate in my life, and likewise, I want to participate with others who want to participate in the lives of these deities, and to have these deities participate in their lives. That connection through relationships, that sense of palpable and deliberate participation on the part of all the beings involved, is what this is all about for me. As we say so often in our prayers, Haec set unde vita vent, “This is where life comes from.”

As a result, I have to say that I’m tired of hearing some pagans say “I don’t worship deities, I work with them”; but I also think that those on the devotional polytheists sides are also missing something when they automatically assume that we only “work for” the deities and that’s the best and the only way to approach the matter. There need be no contrast between worshipping deities and working with them, in my view; in fact, if we are doing the works of our deities in the world, then we are working with them, and we are a part of something larger than ourselves simply worshipping them. And yet, if the worship isn’t there, then I don’t think the work is possible, either.

In closing, I’ll say something I’ve said about the Ekklesía Antínoou on many occasions: we are for anyone but we are not for everyone. This means two things. First, there are no barriers to absolutely anyone, regardless of any personal characteristics they might or might not have (with the exception of respect for other humans and for the deities involved), being a part of our group as a member or participant in our activities. Second, though, we do not expect to be a group that can be all things to all people. It is obvious, at least to me, that there are limitations that we have in terms of what we do which make it less likely that our group will be popular. Yes, we love Hermes and Dionysos, but anyone who wants to mainly worship them will probably be better served in another group. Yes, we are a queer group, but anyone who wants to do something which is only focused upon how they are different (and perhaps even better) than everyone else because of their queerness is going to be better served by another group or tradition. Yes, we have a lot of goddesses and divine female figures that we worship, but someone who is mainly interested in those pursuits will also be better served joining another group. There is nothing wrong with knowing one’s own limitations and stating them clearly, and it is perfectly fine to have…a clearly delineated set of interests and stated purposes and set of goals. Such limits and boundaries, as Sinek argues, are a very good thing when it comes to setting the goals and purposes of a given group that has leaders who want to pursue those goals.

The Ekklesía Antínoou is a queer, Graeco-Roman-Egyptian syncretist reconstructionist polytheist group dedicated to Antinous and related divine figures. It is not *just* any one of those things, it’s all of them. While one may not have to be interested in or involved with all of those things to be a part of the group, it is probably best if Antinous–at very least–is of major interest to someone who is thinking about joining or contributing to the group.

If any young people want to join the group and start to be prepared for leadership roles, and to gain authority and experience through their contributions to the group, that is wonderful. But, if at least Antinous is not in one’s central solar system, so to speak–whether as a small moon, a major planet, or as the star/sun itself–then some other group might be a better fit for them.

As you all know from the other day’s post, things have not exactly been smooth-sailing around Chez P.S.V.L. lately on a variety of levels.

Health-wise, the eye is not doing well, and it turns out that as of my doctor’s latest advice, I’m going to have to have surgery, probably tomorrow.

Job-wise, things aren’t great either. Not only am I not going to be having more than one class to teach this summer, but I currently have no guarantee that I’ll have any classes in Fall at this stage.

Housing-wise, I’ve been told that if I don’t have my shit together by the end of June, I’m getting kicked out of where I’m currently living.

And, I just found out that the bus I take to work every day will no longer be running from here to the town where I work as of late June.

So, many of my prospects are totally washed up at this point. What is a metagender to do?

It so happens that I was at the bus stop downtown today, and had a few minutes to wait before my bus departed. I was reading a book that is rather obviously about polytheism, and two well-dressed young men asked me about it. I recognized from their name tags that they were Mormons. Of course, I’ve heard that all before, but still they didn’t seem to take the hint that I didn’t want to speak with them.

Finally, someone else standing near me then started to chime in, and actually started to DEFEND ME against these Mormons. I wish I could remember some of the things he said, because they were actually quite cogent arguments against Christianity generally speaking, and didn’t rely on the fact that other gods exist (and still do!), which is where most of my ammunition comes from.

The Mormon boys were pretty flustered at that point, and eventually went to bother someone else. As it happened, this noble passer-by was headed on the same bus route I was afterwards, so he continued to speak with me a bit on the way.

“So, are you an atheist?” I asked him.

“No, actually, I’m a Christian.”

This really surprised me, needless to say.

“I attend the Metropolitan Community Church.”

I was not aware that there was one in the area where I live and work, and had not heard of its existence there previously. He was also somewhat surprised that I knew what it was as a denomination and had heard of it, and I impressed him further by talking about its history a bit–how it was founded by Troy Perry in the year before Stonewall and so forth.

“How do you know so much about us?”

I told him briefly of my own background, and how I was acquainted with the minister of the M.C.C. in Spokane when I was there, as well as other folks, like Robert Goss (a former Catholic/Jesuit who wrote Jesus Acted Up and is now an M.C.C. minister).

He then asked me if I know so much, why am I not a member, and why would I get a degree from those homophobic Catholics? I said that I’m a polytheist. He kind of looked nonplussed for a moment.

“Oh. Does that pay well?”

I laughed at the question, and kind of briefly said that it doesn’t really pay at all. It was my stop at the college, and so I got out, and he asked if he could join me to talk further.

Honestly, I was a bit hesitant, because this seemed a bit creepy, potentially. But, apart from his dumb beard and a few bad teeth, he was somewhat attractive, and pleasant enough company, and if this wasn’t an attempt to proselytize me, then it seemed like the next most plausible explanation was it was a very elaborate come-on, and I felt pretty flattered about that. So, I said, “I have an hour before class” (I lied, as I actually had four), “so we can talk for a few minutes before I have to get ready.”

We walked to my office, and I left the door open when he came in and sat down in case anything got weird. He talked about this and that, and after about ten minutes, he said, “Well, I’ll cut to the chase. Would you like to meet my pastor later?”

I asked why he might ask such a question.

“We’re looking for a church secretary, librarian, and youth education coordinator. You might be perfect for the job.”

I was surprised there were any kids at the “gay church” sufficient for such a position, but his suggestion intrigued me. I thus said “Sure.”

He called his pastor on the phone that very moment (which is how I learned his name was Ben–odd that no introductions had taken place earlier, huh?), and said he had a “candidate” that he’d like him to meet.

“Do you have time now?”

That question was to me, and I said “Sure.”

He then replied that his pastor would be over in ten minutes, and what was my office number. I told him, and then in the meantime, he finally introduced himself, and I did likewise. We talked about this-and-that until the pastor arrived.

Oh. My. Gods.

In walks probably the hottest trans* guy I’ve ever seen, and it turns out he’s not only the pastor and would love to give me the job, but is also single; his name is Steve. After talking together for another fifteen minutes, and establishing that they don’t have any interest in converting me and my devotion to Antinous (who Steve knew all about!) is not a problem, they said I should meet them after my classes are over to discuss more, and they’d show me the church. They arranged to pick me up, and said they’d drive me back later, even.

That was more than six hours, a dinner, and even a few drinks ago. I just got back, in fact…

We talked about EVERYTHING, including my gender identity, and Steve said that I have the job if I want it. The bonus is that even though I’d be making about the same amount of money as I do now, much more of my time would be free, and the existing church they bought has a one-bedroom apartment out in the back, which if I agreed to be the caretaker of the property as well, I could live in pretty much for free as a benefit. FUCK YEAH! Steve has a nicer house in town, so he doesn’t need it, but he can do what he likes with it, which is great by me!

So, I’ll be finishing this quarter at the college, and then will do the online class this summer, but then will go “full-time,” so to speak, with the new job from September onwards. But, they want me to do weekend stuff meanwhile, and said I can move in later this month, even though I’ll only have a part-time salary through the summer–but, I can make that work with the small bit coming in from the online class…it won’t leave much for anything other than Many Gods West, but it will be manageable.

It’s weird what can end up happening as a result of talking with people at bus stops, huh? ;)

And if you believe any of that, I have some Atlantic-front property in Thrace to sell you.

HAPPY BOUKOKLEPTEIA!

[The only parts of the above that are true, in case you wondered, are that I’m only teaching one class this summer, and that the bus stops running at the end of June, so I’ll have to move most likely in August or September. Oh, and I’ll be at Many Gods West, of course!]

Unlike my post earlier today, this one is entirely serious, true, and accurate…The only real connection between Boukoklepteia and what follows in this post–and it’s kind of an auspicious one!–is that Hermes did some interesting things with animal parts in the story that gives the inspiration for the Boukoklepteia (and thanks, Sannion, for innovating that so many years ago!).

Many of you know Lupa (sometimes known as Lupa Greenwolf)–who from my viewpoint is and always will be *the original Lupa*, before Lupae became very common amongst modern pagans (on which more in a moment!)–who can be seen around the area of Portland, Oregon, as well as at a variety of pagan events across the country. Lupa is a good old friend of mine, and has been for the last 9 years or so (after we met in Seattle), though we don’t get to see each other very often any longer. (The Esoteric Book Conference in 2010 is probably the longest time we’ve spent around each other, which was a lot of fun!) Us “wolf” people, and especially us “wolf-named” people, have to stick together; but, in case any of you might have been wondering: no, we are not related in any way just because of our names, despite the potential Roman understanding of them conveying such a relationship. ;) Lupa is a fantastic artist, utilizing animal parts–furs, bones, skins, teeth, horns/antlers/etc., and other such components–in a variety of uses, and has also written (or edited) many books published by both Immanion/Megalithica and Llewellyn, with more on the way. In 2009, she was one of the Lupercae at the Ekklesía Antínoou’s Lupercalia ritual at PantheaCon, which was…let’s say a memorable and rather *traditional* Lupercation, most certainly, from the last days of when the ritual was for 18+ folks only.

Lupa’s most recent (and ongoing) project is an awesome one, and is the focus of an Indiegogo campaign which still has more than a week left to contribute: The Tarot of Bones, which will eventually become a deck and accompanying book. As you’ll see below, the assemblage pieces for this deck are absolutely stunning, but check out the website (mentioned below) for more examples.

Lupa took a short while out of her very busy schedule these days to answer a few (idiosyncratic!) questions I had about this project, and I think you’ll enjoy what she said. Take a look! ;)

The Tarot of Bones is a fascinating project for many reasons. For me in particular, it brings the system of cartomancy together with another method of divination that could also be a game as much as a divinatory tool: astragalomancy, which is divination with knucklebones. Do you have any experience of that system directly? Did you take any inspiration from it? Would you have any plans or desires to incorporate it into your work on this project?

While I’m familiar with bone-casting, it doesn’t really come into play with this set; the symbolism is more tarot-inspired as far as the divinatory properties go. However, the symbolism of the types of bones used in the Minor Arcana, and the species used in the Major Arcana, is a very strong contributing factor. It’s not so much how the bones fall as what they mean as individuals. Since I’m pretty well into the project at this point I can’t really add another dimension to it, but that’s not to say there aren’t more possibilities in the future!

Oh, I had figured…but I was just shooting in the dark there and attempting to connect this with a variety of other practices, including some that would be familiar to folks who are regular readers here. ;)

I like syncretism as well (as many people know!), and so the syncretism of the various numina of the specific tarot cards plus the spirits of the animals involved in their creation is especially apt to create some interesting new combinations. Have you had any experiences of this that were especially vivid thus far in creating the pieces you have already completed?

That’s actually a big part of the creative process for me! For almost twenty years I’ve been working with hides and bones in my artwork, and along with them the spirits that reside within them. Whether those spirits are literal beings or just my projections doesn’t matter so much to me as the quality of the work we do together. I’ve found that this spiritual work expanded quite a bit in my work with the Tarot of Bones; not only am I working with the spirits of the bones, but also their species’ totems/archetypes, and the numina of the tarot cards. It’s rather like designing by committee! But it gives me even more of a wealth of symbolism to draw on as I create each one of these assemblages.

In addition to this project, you’ve also made rune and ogam divination sets with antler pieces. Any chance you might do an Ephesia Grammata set at some point? (Hint, hint…!?!)

I would certainly be willing to do them as a custom request, if you like! I primarily stick with the elder futhark of runes and the [Irish] ogam for my ready-to-order antler divination sets, but I’ve made them with many other divination systems as custom orders over the years.

That might be a possibility down the road, then…possibly a set of Ephesia Grammata knucklebones, even–who knows? ;)

Very hard question: Of the pieces you’ve created, which one do you think is your favorite?

That’s a tough one. I really, really love the Magician because there’s so much going on there–the bone ouroborous with the snake skeleton, all the natural materials surrounding this magical snake, and of course the Magician hirself as a figure. But I also absolutely love the Hermit; I used a hornbill skull for that one, because female hornbills wall themselves up in a tree crevice while incubating their eggs–it’s a very productive isolation. The Two of Wands is another one I’m fond of, partly because it’s one of the best paintings I’ve ever made, and partly because it incorporates wolf bones! It’s going to be tough to part with any of them, though, once the set is out and I start selling originals to make space.

“The Magician,” by Lupa Greenwolf…Is that not breathtakingly astounding–and appropriately so?!?

Yes, those are all fantastic, I agree–but I do have a soft spot for the Magician myself, for reasons I’m certain no one can guess!

Even harder question: of the pieces you have yet to create, which one are you most looking forward to creating?

It’s tough to say, because I never know exactly what a card will look like ’til it’s done, and I fall in love with them in the creation process. However, I did achieve a stretch goal on IndieGoGo, where I agreed to create a Happy Squirrel card for the deck. In an early episode of The Simpsons, Lisa Simpson goes to a fortune teller who reads her cards. After pulling Death, which is simply seen as a card of change and therefore not so scary, the fortune teller draws The Happy Squirrel, and immediately becomes horrified! So it’s become something of an in-joke in the tarot community, and there are a few decks that have Happy Squirrel cards included in them along with the traditional 78.

That will be a fun addition to the mix!

Now, the hardest question of all: of the pieces you have yet to create, which one are you dreading the most? (And if there is a “why” to that which is deeply personal that you don’t feel like sharing, feel free not to share!)

Actually I’m not dreading any of them! I don’t see any bad cards in the tarot. The Majors draw on deep human archetypes, and there’s a story in there proceeding from the Fool to the World. It’s a nice mythos and a progression of Big, Overarching Story Elements. But then there are all the Minor Arcana cards, and in those I see the goings-on of everyday human life. We’ve all had moments of triumph, and we’ve all had sleepless nights of anxiety. So I see the Minor cards in particular as showing what we humans have as shared experiences, and I don’t feel so alone, especially in my toughest moments.

Fair enough. There are all sorts of reasons to dread doing a project, and not just because of the issues it may dredge up. If I were in your position, I’d suspect that you’ve had such a good experience of this project all along that you may end up dreading doing the last one, because it will all be ending at that point, and it’s always a bit difficult to put the finishing touches on a process of creation that has been very enjoyable. Well, it’s good to hear that you’re forging ahead with such energy and enthusiasm!

Finally, what other projects are you working on at present, and where will you be doing in-person appearances, exhibitions, or vending in the next few months?

I’m actually at a quiet time of the year! The first three and a half months were almost solid bookings every weekend, with vending events and pagan conventions and the like. Since mid-April it’s calmed down a lot, and I’ve been able to spend more time at home, and my festival season doesn’t really get going until mid-July. I do have a few pieces of art in the Sculptors’ Gallery here in Portland, run by the Pacific Northwest Sculptors, of which I am a member.

However, I’m not resting lightly on my laurels! I’m spending a lot of time in my studio (well, my living room) making plenty of art for online sales. And, of course, I’m working on assemblages for the Tarot of Bones, and hoping to get ahead of the game for when festival season starts. I will be taking time off, though, to do some hiking and backpacking and other outdoor activities; too much time inside makes me an unhappy Lupa. Those who would like updates on when I’ll be vending again can email me at lupa (dot)greenwolf (at) gmail (dot) com and request to be added to my twice-a-month mailing list. You can also keep tabs on my work at The Greenwolf and The Tarot of Bones.

Excellent! Thanks so much, Lupa, for doing this, and best of luck with the campaign, which (as of this initial posting) is still running for twelve more days, until May 19th–so, go support it RIGHT NOW!

While the U.S. is celebrating Mother’s Day today–which, even for most pagans is a secular holiday, we here in the Ekklesía Antínoou also mark the day by celebrating Mantinoë, the mother of Antinous (as identified in a fragmentary papyrus hymn from Oxyrhynchus). While that part of the hymn doesn’t give us much of anything other than the possibility of her name, that she is included indicates something very interesting, which other bits of evidence from the late antique Antinoan cultus likewise indicate.

The hymn from Curium suggests Antinous is the “offspring of the gold-winged mother,” which is taken to mean Aphrodite. I have suspect that perhaps a more localized Egyptian tradition may have yielded a notion that Hathor was his mother. For late antique Graeco-Roman-Egyptians, Hathor and Aphrodite would not have been seen as particularly distinct, so that remains an interesting possibility.

But, perhaps most importantly, there is a line on the Obelisk of Antinous which is highly suggestive: though again it is flanked by lacunae in the text, nonetheless the part which can be made out says “his mother’s whole body heals.” While this might be a reference to a divine mother of some sort (since Antinous’ father is said to have been Re-Harakhte earlier in the text of the Obelisk), nonetheless it makes a cult of divine motherhood in various ways important to the Antinoan cultus.

Thus, we honor Mantinoë on this day.

If, indeed, Mantinoë is his mother, and we assume that she might have been referred to in the Obelisk (perhaps in a syncretized form of some sort not unusual in Egyptian practice), then perhaps she pre-deceased him. And if that’s the case, then when he became divine, perhaps she, too, blessed him as did other hero/ines and deities.

And so, for today, we have the following…

Antinous to Mantinoë: Hail I say, and Praises I give
to you, O Mantinoë, great mother of Bithynia,
for the gifts you give to mortals and to the heroes,
and the blessings which you have given to me.

Because of you, I have been born upon the earth
and lived a good life in mortal flesh;
Because of you, I have become acquainted with great men–
governors, philosophers, and even Emperors.
Because of you, I have become a god
in the godly places of Egypt.
Because of you, I am hailed as a local god
in Bithynia and in Mantineia, a descendant of Antinoë.
Because of you, I am reckoned as the child
of Hermes, of Aphrodite, and of Re-Harakhte.

Hail I say, and Praises I give, and Thanks I express and proclaim
to you, Mantinoë, the great mother of Bithynia and of Mantineia!

Mantinoë: And praise to you, Antinous!
I give you the sacred games and the sacred Mysteries
which mothers give in honor of their children!

Antinous (and all): Hail, Praise, and Thanks to you, Mantinoë!

Hermes to Antinous: I give you the caduceus entwined with serpents and crowned with wings and horns, and the fleet-footed sandals from my feet.

Antinous: Hail and thanks to you, Hermes, foremost of the Gods of Arcadia and Divine Father!

Because of you, I will be the guide to souls in the afterlife!

I will be shepherd, hunter, thief, and wrestler.
I will be the father of Pan in Mantineia.
I will be the slayer of many-eyed Argus with the sling.
I will be the son of Zeus and Maia, and the child of Atlas.
I will be the engenderer of Hermaphroditos with Kallypigean Aphrodite.
I will be the reaver of the cattle of Apollon.
I will be the inventor of oracles and the stringer of lyres.
I will be the giver of the knowledge of words and the translator of tongues.
I will be the one who brings Krokus’ flower to bloom.
I will be the leader of processions and of rites, and the inventor of sacrifice.
I will be hailed when I have images of protection standing in stone at the crossroads.
I will be he who stands before-the-gates.
I will be the Neos Hermes, and Hermes himself under Hadrian.

Hail and thanks to you, Hermes!

Hail and thanks to you, Antinous!

[May 15th]

In the cave of Mt. Kyllene where he had his birth, Hermes came to the abode of his mother, Maia, caduceus in hand.

“O Mother of the heavens, O Mother of the earth–Asteria and Gaia as one in your mountain cave–tell me the story of my birth.”

“Son, that is a tale well known to all.”

“Yes…but, there is a part of it that none have heard before, that none but yourself and Zeus know in truth.”

“And what part is that, son?”

“How did Zeus come to you, and in what form, when I was conceived? Many know the tale of Leda and the swan as equally as they know that Leto was in the form of a wolf when she birthed Apollon; in the form of lightning, he consumed Semele, and as a shower of gold from heaven he laid with Danaë; and did not he trick unwary Kallisto in the form of Artemis herself, to beget upon her Arkas, whom you fostered in this very place as well?”

“These are all tales that are well-known, too, son.”

“Indeed. And yet, I would know the form which he took in this case, to add another number to the thousand jealousies of Hera.”

“Very well, son, if you must know it, I shall tell it.

“The Pleiades are the daughters of Atlas, and I am the fairest of them, of Titanic race. But what is fair is not always fawned over, and what is beautiful is not always appreciated, and thus of the numerous nymphs upon the earth and in its many mountains, caves, trees, and streams, I shunned the company of the satyrs, the gods, the daimones, and all of the powers upon the earth and in the seas and through the heavens. For even if in great beauty is truth, truth has its majesty in modesty. If I would retain my modesty, and in truth my beauty, I would need to recede from every eye, lest even a glance awry might spoil me.

“The all-beholding mind of Zeus, however, did not mistake my silence for the quiet of the mountains, nor my singing for the wind through the peaks of Mt. Kyllene. A jewel hidden within a mountain is like a treasure atop a tall tower to the one who looks upon it with envy and desire, and no chasm in the earth might be deep enough, nor ladder so over-endowed with rungs that it might sway the resolve of such a one from pursuing their goal to the utmost.

“Zeus first came to me as a simple mountain shepherd, playing upon the aulos in the cool of the afternoon near my cave. Though his songs were sweet and plaintive, I did not show myself from the hidden depths of the cave.

“Then the many-formed Zeus took the shape of a ram upon himself, and climbed the rocks to the treacherous precipice wherein my cave could be accessed. He bleated and butted across the entrance, but the darkness of my cave was as an unfathomable chasm to the ram, who retreated in his defeat.

“Then the clever god stalked the entrance to my cave in the form of the comb-headed cock, thinking that he might crow Helios himself from the heavens to appear and steer his chariot into the depths of the cave to illuminate the darkness. But Helios would not swerve from his course, and the crowing chanticleer’s chest heaved and deflated as he left the peaks once more.

“Adopting another form, he became as Hephaistos, club-footed and face-sooted, and brought his hard iron anvil and his hammer into the mouth of the cave, striking down hard with the arm which wields thunderbolts, and yet the sparks which flew forth could not penetrate the darkness any more than a single firebrand can boil the waters of Okeanos. Away he went again, dejected.

“And still without stinting, he came once again, this time in the form of chthonic Hades himself, a quadriga of the blackest steeds snorting brimstone in their galloping as the wolf-capped driver goaded them onward into the depths of the cave. But even those steeds bolted, for the depths of the darkness in the cave were too profound for their souls to grasp, and Zeus in his chthonic form could not restrain them from straying back to the darkness of the night’s sky.

“But, Zeus is not the sovereign of Olympus because he gives up easily, or is diminished by trying circumstances.

“At last, he adopted a form that was not known easily to most, even of the Titanic race.

“By night, he came to the cave, and with ease slipped into the shadows, made his way through them as if even the blackest of rocks at the bottom of the cave were the light of a thousand suns. The veil draped across his form like a train behind the dark moon flooded through the cave, and overcame my resolve. I could not resist the figure before me, for there is no conquering of it…of Her.”

“‘Her,’ Mother?!?”

“Yes, Her.”

“And what Goddess, what Titaness, lent the form which he adopted?”

“It was no Goddess, no Titaness, no nymph nor daimon nor mortal.

“It was Nyx herself, she whose gown is the space between the stars of the white-flecked firmament, she whose form gives the heavens their grandeur and whose darkness encompasses the wide cosmos around.”

“Then this, indeed, explains much, Mother.”

“In what sense?”

“From the moment the God’s seed fell within your fertile womb and found its form from the egg you bore, and my divine soul was quickened within you, the light of intellect sprang strong throughout me, and I could look outwards from the reaches inside that bodily cave and see nothing but divine darkness. From this, I knew I had my generation, and thus no darkness–not the blackest hollows of Hades nor even the deepest shadows in the depths of Tartaros–places fear in my heart, nor makes my winged feet flinch in the slightest from where I wish to plant their soles or traipse with their toes.”

So, my birthday yesterday was quite lovely!

I was able to see many folks (including several Many Gods West presenters as well as old friends and co-religionists–though the overlap in those categories is almost total in early every case!), have some lovely food–including sushi and the ol’ standard “liminality burger” (!?!)–buy some fun things, and travel down and back was actually quite favored by Hermes, Hanuman, Lugus, and Antinous, too, at several points. ;)

Thank you to all who helped make it a memorable and enjoyable occasion!

Hwever, something else happened of major significance: Ireland legalized same-sex marriage by referendum! Given that homosexuality was only legalized there in the early 1990s, that’s quite a major leap to have occurred in “W/Hol(l)y Catholic Ireland.”

The spirits of some Middle Irish Queer Women, and Cú Chulainn and Fer Diad, are probably having a party tonight in honor of this, as well they should.

Earlier today, the Green Egg Radio podcast had Crystal Blanton, Taylor Ellwood, Clio Ajana, Lilith Dorsey, Shauna Aura Knight, and myself on. We were ostensibly there to talk about Bringing Race to the Table, but we actually didn’t talk much about the book at all, and the whole thing was a bit *weird* (even apart from some of the technical oddities). If you have a listen, perhaps I’ll say more in comments about it if any of you point out how it went a bit strangely.

So, yeah. Stuff. ;)

Last month, I posted about my ideas for and general schema of the opening ritual for Many Gods West, and have had some good responses on it thus far.

I am also happy to report that as of Sunday, May 31st, Niki, Rhyd, and myself had the first “installment,” so to speak, of the ritual preparations for Many Gods West in the form of a visit to the Tsubaki Grand Shrine of America. (Rhyd has written a bit about his experiences on that occasion, and Niki did as well!) While there will be no “official” representation from Shinto (to my knowledge) at the conference, there will be a few folks there who are members of the Shrine, or are familiar with some of the practices. We’ll end up incorporating a thing or two into it in the opening ritual, and have been given a special object to be present for the conference on the shrine space we create there. Also, omikuji divination predicted “Good Fortune” (it was #42) as the outcome and auspice for the conference, so that’s also great news! ;)

On the matter of people who cannot be present for Many Gods West participating in the proceedings in various ways, though, I have had a few thoughts on further reflection, and so please note this as the “official” manner in which we’ll proceed.

I have asked all of those who will be present to bring four things: 1) water from their local (sacred) sources; 2) dirt (or possibly rocks) from their local sacred landscapes; 3) images of the Deities; 4) food and drink offerings. I’d like to add a few further caveats to this, though, and likewise give some specific directions and make some specific limitations to those who won’t be able to attend in-person.

As far as dirt is concerned: dirt is better than rocks in almost every case. Dirt mixes together more easily than single rocks do, and is a literal product of the biological and mineral processes of the land itself. Rocks, on the other hand, can be brought in from elsewhere, whether it is a gravel truck in the last fifty years, or a glacial erratic from 30,000 years ago. Unless you can verify that a given rock is definitely from the land where you dwell (i.e. it is a mineral or crystal or semi-precious stone), it is better to just get dirt; and even if you do bring a rock, bring dirt as well, please!

As far as deity-images are concerned, the more the merrier, but be reasonable and considerate as well. If every person brings 5 deities, then we could have as many as 500+ deities on the communal shrine, and while that would be awesome, at the same time, it would probably be best to limit yourself to 2 or 3 max. As far as the images themselves are concerned, my suggestion would be–if you don’t have a small and easily-portable statuette or figurine of some sort–to get a visual image of the deity that you like, and then put it in a small frame–a 3 x 5 image (or even smaller) would be fine, which will allow as many as possible to be included on the shrine. If you have a range of deities to whom you are devoted, pick the one(s) that you are most devoted to–if you are oathed or dedicated to certain ones, go with those, certainly, but if there are others you have that are secondary or tertiary and are “optional” for you to include in your no more than three, I’d say go for variety and rarity as a major consideration. As an example: there’s going to be a lot of Morrígan devotees there, but probably many fewer of Dian Cécht; Hermes and Hekate devotees are thick on the ground, but Hygeia devotees are far more rare; Odin, Thor, Loki, and Freyja are bound to have many worshippers present, but Hermodr cultists are probably going to be near-unheard of; and so on and so forth. THAT HAVING BEEN SAID, multiple images of a given deity are perfectly fine for the multiple devotees they have; indeed, no deity will have the same presence or personal relationship across several different devotees, so multiple images of deities are expected and encouraged (within the caveats suggested above for those who are not major dedicants of them). I suspect there will be more than one Antinous image present, for example, but I’m only bringing one myself, and it will be combined with Hadrian and several others. As long as your image does not crowd out or interfere with other images, it should be fine.

Now, for those who aren’t going to be physically present, I’d like to make the following a rule. Please feel free to send deity-images that you’d like to be a part of the mix, but please don’t send earth/soil/dirt/rocks or water. This is “Many Gods West,” and so we want to have as many Deities represented as possible; indeed, one of the characteristics of Deities is that they are accessible across wide geographies and outside of strictly localized worship, for the most part. If you want a deity-image to be included, please actually create it and send it, even if that means printing out a small picture from the internet and sticking it in a cheap plastic frame; don’t just send an e-mail attachment or link to your favorite deity-image photo and then expect us to print them out and place them. Also, please write the specific name and epithets of the Deity you’d like to be mentioned when they are placed on the shrine; don’t leave us to guess, as we will probably not guess correctly in many cases! On the earth/water exclusions: the reason I think this is a good idea is because if you are not physically present, having your land (which gives you form and support) represented is not exactly necessary; not to mention, it is hard to send rocks, dirt, and water through the mail easily or conveniently. Your presence there is better represented by the Deities you worship rather than the land and the spirits within it–uncontextualized and unconnected to those of us who will be there, in most cases–and so you should proceed accordingly.

If you are going to be present, but for various reasons want to send earth and water ahead of you because you don’t want to transport it in your checked luggage and such, you can certainly do that, but let me know ahead of time that such is your plan (which you obviously will if you contact me and need my postal address!).

So, does that make sense? I hope so. Let me know if you have any questions on this.

Also, something for the Antinous and Ekklesía Antínoou-specific folks, or anyone interested in such things: on Saturday and Sunday morning, before the main program starts, we’ll be having an “Antinoan Daily Office” of sorts. We’ll do some of the major regular/standard prayers to Antinous and friends, some hymns, and probably special honorings of Hadrian (on Saturday the 1st) and Sabina (on Sunday the 2nd), as well as other Deities, and it will probably last no more than a half hour, and will be pretty disciplined and no-nonsense in the interests of time and expediency. For those who want to get involved in this process more directly, contact me via e-mail, and we’ll discuss who might be doing what, and what specifically will occur.

It’s less than two months away now…very little time left and it will be here! Eek! ;)

So, in certain respects, this is a post I cannot put off any longer–or, at least, in terms of writing some lighter fare that is not entirely generated from my own creative juices for devotional purposes, it’s something that would be more timely to write now rather than later (unlike several other things I’ve had on the back burner for a while).

I cannot continue with the above subject line without first at least acknowledging Caitlyn Jenner, who seems to be the talk of the town in media and elsewhere lately. Far more competent commentators have given their thoughts on certain issues of privilege involved in her story; many others have been nauseatingly horrible in their expressed thoughts on the matter, including several speaking from a so-called “religious” viewpoint of one sort or another (usually some flavor of Christian), and I put those who have called the situation “gender-confusion” on the same rank as those who have wished her death, because both are equally misunderstanding of the situation and are equally dismissive of Ms. Jenner’s (and millions of other trans* and gender-variant peoples’) experiences. I’ve seen two pagans write about her, both of whom are cisgendered, and I won’t link to their pieces because I didn’t find them particularly compelling (though both were affirmative, thankfully).

So, on the topic of Ms. Jenner, I’ll suffice it to say the very best of luck to her, and the blessings of Panpsyche and all the rest of the Tetrad++ on her.

I just heard/read a few hours ago that Miley Cyrus has come out as genderfluid. This is really interesting to me for all sorts of reasons, amongst them that her hammerotic controversial video for “Wrecking Ball,” and the song itself, kind of perfectly encapsulates certain dimensions of the God/dess Paneris, and I think we can now consider the song Panerisian in nature! (Yay!)

As much as greater visibility for different types of gender-diversity (as in Miley’s case) and greater widespread acceptance of trans*ness (in Caitlyn’s) is a good thing, I can’t say I’m entirely happy with some of the media portrayals and stories out there, either. Not long after reading about Miley earlier today, I read this awful article, which I had hoped would be a bit better than it was…I’d suggest all of you read it and just see the repeated micro- (and macro-) aggressions that the reporter (even ignoring the out-and-out transphobia of some of the interviewees), and presumably their editors, allowed into the piece; and if you can’t see them, then seriously, you need to check your cisgender privilege pretty thoroughly.

[While I don’t think this is an idea that should be implemented, nonetheless, think about how the following makes you feel if you’re cisgendered. Suppose that an enlightened future government, in collaboration with its preferred medical establishment, put all children from the age of nine onwards on puberty-blocking hormones, which were then rescinded when they turned 18, because it isn’t responsible of society to allow people to choose their gender before that age, even if it happens to be the gender they were assigned at birth. If you ask me, it might make parenting teenagers an awful lot easier, and that extra bit of life experience undergone before shaving to deal with the hormonal roller-coaster of puberty might not be a bad thing. But, nonetheless, do you see the obvious double-standard involved here, and the overwhelming cisgender privilege and assumptions of normatively involved? If not, go and think on that for a while.]

Given we’re talking Tetrad++ic matters, even by tangents, in relation to the above two gender-variant individuals, perhaps a few words would also be appropriate on this occasion about some further Tetrad++ic issues to take into account. While they’re related (at least in my mind), I think I can split them into two broad categories.

1) Gender is only one part of the Tetrad++ Group’s identities. While I have said this before, certain things (like this)may give the impression that the Tetrad++ are “only” deities who are about gender-variance. That is one important aspect of their overall personae, but it isn’t by any means the only aspect, any more than Hermes’ only aspect is his maleness (he was represented by herms, and it doesn’t get much more “male” than that), or Aphrodite’s was her femininity.

2) There is no “compulsion” in Tetrad++ic devotion. And the corollary to this, I think, is the notion that “only” someone of a particular gender-variant identity can (or should) worship particular members of the Tetrad++. Anyone can worship any of them. Women of all types can get as much out of worshipping Panpsyche as specifically trans*women, and likewise with Paneros or Paneris or any of the others, etc. But further, and more importantly, it doesn’t mean that trans* folks have to worship Panpsyche or Panhyle, or that genderfluid people must worship Paneris, and so on and so forth. If Caitlyn Jenner were a polytheist, she could very well worship Artemis or Athena, or Hermes for that matter, more readily than Panpsyche; and if Miley Cyrus were a polytheist, Paneris might not be the most apt or obvious choice for devotion, but Loki very well could be.

These hypotheticals could be multiplied further out, but I hope that you get the point.

For more on these latter points, I’d recommend this recent post by Merri-Todd!

So, while I’m encouraged by some of these things, it should be patently obvious that there’s such a long way to go with the overall situation in terms of gender-variance’s visibility and acceptance, whether trans*ness (which is getting better and doing better generally) or any other type of it.

[April 25th]

Hermes arrived in the conference room long before anyone else, and looking around, he was both confused and somewhat excited. There was the central table surrounded in chairs–as anyone would have expected there to be at such a gathering of the Gods–and around the edges of the room, there were couches…not the kind for sitting, reclining at a symposium sipping wine, but for sleeping, or more likely, for leisurely afternoon sex.

The Gods started to come in, and Hermes recognized many of them: Osiris, Apis, Ptah, Isis, Anubis, Thoth, some naked quiet boy, someone else he couldn’t quite make out, and finally a ridiculously-bearded figure with a modius on his head. Following these were the usual–and a few unusual–Greek suspects: Zeus, Dionysos, Eos, and…Hades.

Hades, Hermes thought. This will be interesting.

There was a sound–something between a shout and a mournful song–from outside for a few moments, and then Memnon came in and sat by his mother’s side.

As everyone looked around, the figure that Hermes could not quite make out began to speak, his voice low and gravelly and almost a whisper, but it could be heard in the divine marrows of each deity’s bones.

“It has come to our attention that our plans to unite the peoples of Egypt and Greece more closely are not proceeding as quickly as we had intended,” the hidden figure said.

“And we in Egypt are accustomed to waiting a great deal of time for things to progress,” the starry-eyed Ptah said.

“What concern is this of ours?” Zeus replied rather imperiously.

Ptah continued. “Much good will occur in the world if Egypt and Greece are able to unite; it will not always be an easy road, by any means, but with the innovative spirit of the Greeks and the time-honored traditionalism of the Egyptians, surely great accomplishments will follow when these two cultures are allowed to more freely mingle.”

“Have our efforts failed thus far?” Eos looked at her son.

“They have not failed,” Ptah resumed, “they are simply not moving fast enough. Memnon’s birth, life, and cultus has been positive, but limited in its scope. Naukratis’ foundation has been a boon, but it is one city between two continents. Much more needs to happen.”

“What do you propose?” Zeus asked impatiently.

“Wait! An oracle comes,” Ptah interrupted.

Into the room came a figure with ram’s horns on his head, looking somewhat like Zeus. Zeus rolled his eyes, and a distant peal of thunder was heard as he did so. The hard-to-make-out figure brightened somewhat.

“I am Zeus-Ammon, and I have come to portend our future course.”

Hermes listened in to his father’s thoughts for a moment.

I don’t know if I regret that particular divine fling or not…Ammon is no Ganymede.

“A child of many Gods is upon the earth, about to unite three continents of the world in a way that Memnon could only dream about…”

“Hey!” Memnon objected. “I’m only a demigod, what did you expect?”

“As he is a child of many Gods, this will also be the work of many Gods.”

Now Zeus’ patience was exhausted. “Enough of this idle vagary and vagueness! Speak clearly, oracle, or do not speak further at all!”

Zeus-Ammon retreated from the group, and Zeus rolled his eyes again, a faint electric arc sparking from his eyebrows to his hair.

“It is true,” Osiris began, “there has not been as strong a connection between Africa and Europe as is needed.”

“And what about Asia?” Zeus added, simply to nip at the Egyptians’ heels a bit.

“Asia has been in close contact with Africa for long before Europe was even a glimmer in Ptah’s eye.

“Ha!” Zeus spat.

“As I was saying,” Osiris continued, “it is time to move this process more quickly and with more dynamism. If we do not act decisively, then Alexander’s conquests will have little benefit for humanity, and our own fortunes may diminish. Thus, we have a plan. Everyone, meet Osorapis.”

The figure with the modius on his head stood up, somewhat timidly.

“He has existed in the shadows for a long time,” the hidden figure said.

“A minor part in our cast of thousands,” Ptah said, “sprung from my colleague Osiris and my herald Apis.” Both Osiris and Apis looked at Osorapis and grinned as widely and proudly as they could manage, which to Hermes still looked like little more than a slightly curved line.

“And what do you expect of him?” Zeus demanded.

“He will be the bearer of the image of many different Gods, and will spread out from Egypt to eventually reach Asia, Greece, and even Rome and the reaches north and west of it, into Germania and even Britannia.”

“Obscure forests and backwater islands–what concern is this of ours?” Zeus objected.

At last, Isis spoke. “If you wish to go to those places in your own time, Zeus, you may do so; however, given your reluctance, doesn’t it make more sense to send someone else to do it?”

Whether it was the good sense of her statement, or simply the fact that Zeus had not yet had sex with Isis and thought this might be a good in-road, he began to come around. “Hmm…I see what you mean.”

“Do you agree, then?” Isis asked, somewhat more seductively than she had intended.

“Of course!” Zeus thundered.

“Then sign here, please,” Thoth–who had been carefully recording the entire proceeding–offered a papyrus scroll and a quill. Zeus flicked it away, and sent a small lightning bolt out of his finger, burning his name into the papyrus. Thoth began laughing in a shrill and high-pitched fashion, and Hermes knew immediately what was afoot.

“I shall begin collecting my tributes from the Goddesses of Greece immediately,” Isis said.

“What do you mean?” Zeus asked.

“Our pantheons are to unite, not just under Osorapis, but under myself as well. All of the Greek Goddesses, and many others, will fall under my mantle, and their attributes will be my own. I shall spread from Egypt to the isles, to Asia, to Greece, to Rome, and further afield without difficulty nor opposition. I shall be the Goddess pre-eminent amongst Goddesses for centuries to come!”

“I did not agree to this!” Zeus protested.

“Actually,” Hermes began, “you just signed an agreement saying exactly all of that, and more.”

“More? What more?” There was a note of fear in Zeus’ voice.

“More deities are to be made, and others will be branching out,” Hermes reported. “That naked child there will go with his father and mother, Isis and Osorapis, and will do outside of Egypt what Horus–both Elder and Younger–did within it. And there’s still yet more,” Hermes said.

“Does it involve me?” Zeus asked.

“Other than granting some of your gifts to Osorapis, no. But, two new deities must also come forth to bridge my roles with the Egyptians: Hermes Trismegistos, born of myself and Thoth, and Hermanubis, born of myself and Anubis.”

“Aah,” Zeus said, somewhat relieved. That’s what the couches are for. He remembered back to the creation of Zeus-Ammon, and though he was somewhat annoyed with the results, the process of creation was not without its pleasures, even though Ganymede’s were more exquisite.

Hermes moved toward one of the couches, and Anubis did likewise. Anubis began sniffing at Hermes’ crotch, while Thoth simply stood back, wrote, and laughed.

“You’re next, smiley-bird,” Hermes said, equally jocular as well as vicious.

“And what about me?” Hades spoke, at last.

“There is a dream that will be sent to Ptolemy, with your image in it,” Ptah said. “Ptolemy will send to Sinope to appropriate a statue of you for use as one of the first images of Osorapis. Do you consent to this?”

“What if I do not?” Hades asked provocatively.

“Then there will be other options,” Osiris said.

“Like what?”

“There is an image of Endovellicus amongst the Celtiberians that might be suitable,” Thoth offered in between recording every groan of pleasure and bark from Hermes and Anubis.

“Or perhaps the Phoenician Melqart, now called Herakles of Gades,” Ptah suggested.

“In fact, I think I like those ideas better,” Osorapis spoke up, timidly.

“No, no, NO!” Hades said. “Fine, I consent–have my image and my attributes, and bring my presence more fully into the light of day from its hiddenness.”

“Very well,” Osiris concluded.

The Greeks rose to leave, except for Hermes–still wrestling with Anubis–and Dionysos, who had been lounging languidly, not really paying attention, in a gentle semi-inebriated stupor.

“Do you require something of me?” Dionysos asked.

“Only that you give your gifts to Osorapis,” Ptah said.

“Okay…but I want to do it THAT WAY,” Dionysos exclaimed, pointing to Hermes and Anubis on the couch.

“Very well,” Isis agreed, and shoved Osorapis toward another couch, where Dionysos gladly stretched himself out and smiled.

“One final thing,” Memnon said, as the Greek party was nearly out of the chamber.

“What is that?” Osiris asked.

“The name, ‘Osorapis,’ doesn’t exactly roll off the Greek tongue.”

“What?” Osiris was shocked.

“No, it’s true,” Memnon continued. “Don’t underestimate the power of names.”

“He’s right,” Isis agreed. Osiris looked equally shocked again at his wife’s words.

“Then…” Osiris mustered himself at this affront to his name, “what do you propose?”

“How about…” Memnon paused.

“SERAPIS!” shouted Hermes in the throes of passion with Anubis.

“Serapis…Serapis…SERAPIS!” the former Osorapis said with glee, as Dionysos licked his lips and invited him closer.